Rich people are so predictable. Right? I mean, like, if you judge them from afar, they all look the same. Wait, okay okay, it's not nice to say that people are this and that. They might be a down to earth person underneath all that, but if you see rich people anywhere, you'll see the same type of clothes, type of shoes, type of hairstyles and type of watches.
For boys, in everyday outfits would be a shirt with collar, pants and Italian leather shoes. If the shirt is white, the pants would be black or brown or any dark colour, the shoes would be black or really dark brown (there's a difference, you know). If they go to their country club to play golf, they'd wear a t-shirt (with collar), three-quarter pants and golf shoes I guess. If they go for polo, they'd wear a shirt with that jacket, I don't know what jacket, but they'd wear one, and then, white pants (obviously they know how to keep from getting mud all over), knee-high boots and that horse riding hat or something. Helmet, is it? If they go for a formal dinner, they'd wear a tuxedo. Mostly a white shirt underneath a black jacket and a bow, with again, a pair of Italian leather shoes. Oh yeah, and the watches they wear. They'd all be Rolex, Cartier, Patek Philippe, TAG Heuer, Omega, Chopard, etc.
For girls, their everyday outfits would be a business suit, I guess. Or I don't know. Maybe those really expensive short skirts, high heeled shoes, small-tiny-diamond watch, $100,000 jewelry, Louis Viutton or Gucci handbags, and a t-shirt. I think. Girls have lots of styles. So it's kinda hard to explain. Or maybe I just don't know :P. For sports, they'd wear (mostly) Nike shoes, cap, skirt or short pants, and t-shirt. And then, on a formal dinner, they'd wear a million dollar dress and really expensive high heeled shoes. They'd bring along a small purse that matches the colour of their dress. They'd wear big diamond earrings and necklace and 15 karat rings. Their make-ups are usually perfect. Their hair are always done by professional hair stylists. Their clothes are always hand-made specially for them.
Another thing about rich people is that, they play the piano or the violin. They take ballroom dancing classes, or they are just born with that talent. They take horseback riding classes. They live in a big house (obviously) with at least 15 bedrooms and a gold toilet, a huge swimming pool at the back, a tennis court and a HUGE garage that can at least store 5 cars. The cars would be Bugatti Veyron, Lamborghini Reventon, McLaren F1 and others. (Too lazy to list all of them). They'd have butlers and maids. Most of them are whiny. Some of them have their own private jet and yacht. They'd get an island for their seventh birthday, and they'd invite all their friends for a birthday bash or something.
Not all of this is true la. But like, by the way I see it, they're like that. From the outside. Maybe some are not like that, but I don't know. Just seems like it. Again, they might be down to earth on the inside, but on the outside, it's kinda different. Not that I'm saying they are bad people or something. They're not. They have money, so they spend it on these kind of stuffs. *Shrug*
Acting rich is kinda hard. You have to stand straight. Not walk around the room like an idiot. Sit up straight. Get your pinkies up while drinking a cup of tea. Put your head up at all times. Be polite. Talk with good words. You can't complain in front of people. Always have to keep your voice maintained. Walk without slouching. Never talk about what you can get for cheaper. Always keep your clothes neat and tidy. You have to keep your hair the way it was when it was made, or something. And then, you'd always have to be on time. Yes, that's acting rich. Imagine being really rich.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Emotions
Emotions are evil. To me. Somehow, they always trick me. Seriously. Like, I don't know what happened or something but sometimes, I just go mad or sad or I don't know. And for some reason, when I'm in those kind of moods, I don't really want people to bother me. I mean, who wants to be bothered when you're moody? Yeah, they just wanna help, but sometimes, you just feel like you don't need help, right? You just wanna be alone and I don't know. I guess when somebody is moody, they just wanna be alone. Well, kinda. I don't. Sometimes la. It's like, I want people to ask me what's going on and all that, just that, I won't answer because I know what will happen. If any of my friends ask, they'll just make a joke out of it. And when you're moody, and when you tell somebody why, you'd want them to console you or whatever the word is, not make a joke out of it.
Do you realize that, when you're in a bad mood, somebody you hate will always be the victim. Like, you trash them for no reason. And then, you'd get annoyed by people around you. You curse yourself. You'd wish the world would then at that second. You'd think that you're stupid and silly for making mistakes. You'd be beating yourself up sometimes. If not that, you'd be smashing stuffs. Throwing heavy items because you just feel like dying and don't wanna face anything else. Well, maybe you don't get like that, but I do. Kind of. I don't know. I just get like that. SOMETIMES!
On the other hand, when you're in a good mood, you'd feel like the whole world is just wonderful. Everybody is awesome. Even the homework teachers give don't bother you. You'd be nice to everybody. Talk in a good tone. Feel like nothing could ever bother you, even a thunder storm could make you frown.
Conclusion is, when you're in a bad mood, you take everything badly. When you're in a good mood, you take everything better. So, like, when you're having problems, just cool down and wait until you're in a good mood to solve it. There's a solution to every problem, right?
Sorry, was bored. I was talking crap, wasn't I? Heh...
Do you realize that, when you're in a bad mood, somebody you hate will always be the victim. Like, you trash them for no reason. And then, you'd get annoyed by people around you. You curse yourself. You'd wish the world would then at that second. You'd think that you're stupid and silly for making mistakes. You'd be beating yourself up sometimes. If not that, you'd be smashing stuffs. Throwing heavy items because you just feel like dying and don't wanna face anything else. Well, maybe you don't get like that, but I do. Kind of. I don't know. I just get like that. SOMETIMES!
On the other hand, when you're in a good mood, you'd feel like the whole world is just wonderful. Everybody is awesome. Even the homework teachers give don't bother you. You'd be nice to everybody. Talk in a good tone. Feel like nothing could ever bother you, even a thunder storm could make you frown.
Conclusion is, when you're in a bad mood, you take everything badly. When you're in a good mood, you take everything better. So, like, when you're having problems, just cool down and wait until you're in a good mood to solve it. There's a solution to every problem, right?
Sorry, was bored. I was talking crap, wasn't I? Heh...
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Forever ?
You know when you say something is forever, are you really certain that it will be forever? Like, when in fairy tales, they say that Cinderella lives happily ever after with her prince, Snow White live happily ever after with hers, Aurora with Philip and all that. But, they are cartoon shows. What about in real life? Is there any way that something can last forever?
Maybe gold and silver will last forever. Maybe non-biodegradable things will last forever. But what about friendship? Puppy love? Relationships? They say friendships last forever, but do they? Haven't you ever had a best friend? I mean like, a real best friend. A person you trust. A person you tell your secrets to. A person you talk about weird things with. She/he is the most trusted person ever. You get so close to each other. And then, suddenly she/he is not your best friend anymore. All those months of being so close to that one person, then suddenly, the next thing you know, you're just not anymore. Feeling so secure with him/her, being so confident that you'll be best friends for forever, then everything disappeared. Your trust. The relationship you had. The secrets you told that person. All gone. When you think it back, it's kinda sad, don't you think?
When you're young, you get puppy loves. You get in all sorts of relationships. Some are bad, some are good and some are just wonderful. When he tells you he loves you, the butterflies in your stomach flutters, your heart beats twice as fast, you feel so light as if you could fly. And then, you or your friend would cut out a heart-shaped paper and write your name + your boyfriend's name and at the end, there will be a "forever". But that's at first. What happens when he gets addicted to something, let's say a game, and before that, you two used to get along so well. I mean, like, communicate for hours. Talk on the phone, chat, email, face to face. All that and then, when he fell in love with the game, you feel like you're forgotten, when he doesn't really forgets you. But how would you know that he's thinking about you all of the time when he plays his game, and you keep waiting for him to go online, to call you, to at least send a text message to you to say that he misses you like a pathetic person? What if he forgets about you? What if he like, sets a date when you guys can chat or talk to each other, but then, when he does call or go online, you didn't pick up the phone or you didn't go online and you missed your one and only chance to talk to him. But it wasn't on purpose. Maybe you were busy, maybe you were sleeping, maybe there was internet problem. His free time might not be your free time. What if it has been so long since you two had a long private conversation together, and you fall out of love with him? Maybe it's not that long, just that, sometimes, when you love somebody, two days seems like forever. You can say that it's nothing, it's just a day or two, but you'd be surprise of what would happen, like if you cry 'cause you miss him so much.
If I'm writing this, it doesn't mean that I am having these problems. It's just on my mind. Like, what if it were really to happen. How would you feel? Would you have expected it? I'm not saying that I've had experience will all these. I don't. Well, maybe some of it, but I don't know. Maybe I read something like this in a book somewhere. It doesn't really mean I have to go through it to know about it. Maybe I've seen my friends having these kind of experiences, maybe that's why these things are in my head. Just because I write about that heart shaped paper thingy, doesn't mean I do it. Just because I wrote that question about falling out of love with somebody, doesn't mean that I am falling out of love with Haziq. Doesn't mean I want more time with him, although it would be nice. I mean, sometimes, I don't want time with him, I need time with him. But I don't know. I just get through it. Sometimes, people just need to get through something they can't get. Just ignore the empty feeling I guess. It's not that I couldn't get it, I could always text him and say "I wanna chat with you", it's just that, I don't want to intrude his guy time. Of course, it can't be all the time that he plays his game, but whatever I guess. I can't control him. I just have to get through the day. Even if I cry sometimes. It doesn't really matter. Whatever makes him happy, makes me happy. I think. I don't know. It's just that, when he chats with me, I don't want him to do it because he has to. I want him to do it because he wants to. If you think I'm writing this because I want him to do this and that, you're wrong. I don't, really. Like I said, I don't want him to do it unless he wants to. So, like, just.. I'm sorry. I don't know what has gotten into me. Maybe I'm just one of those people who thinks that two days is forever. I don't know. It's not that we don't talk, it's just that, we haven't talked or chat for hours. The last time we chatted, it only lasted for about two seconds. Once, when he said he has got to go after a few minutes, my heart actually sank. But it's no big deal. I don't think so it is. He's a good guy. Let him be. When I really really need him, I'll say it. At least now, I can live through the day. *Shrug* I know, I am so complicated. How unlucky of him to have me :P. Sorry.
Anyway, so still certain that something could be forever? Can your relationship with your best friend last forever? Can the relationship between you and your partner be forever? Even if your bond with somebody is so close, you can't even explain it, anything could happen. Maybe I am just talking crap, but think about it. All the "what ifs", all the possibilities. You never know.
Maybe gold and silver will last forever. Maybe non-biodegradable things will last forever. But what about friendship? Puppy love? Relationships? They say friendships last forever, but do they? Haven't you ever had a best friend? I mean like, a real best friend. A person you trust. A person you tell your secrets to. A person you talk about weird things with. She/he is the most trusted person ever. You get so close to each other. And then, suddenly she/he is not your best friend anymore. All those months of being so close to that one person, then suddenly, the next thing you know, you're just not anymore. Feeling so secure with him/her, being so confident that you'll be best friends for forever, then everything disappeared. Your trust. The relationship you had. The secrets you told that person. All gone. When you think it back, it's kinda sad, don't you think?
When you're young, you get puppy loves. You get in all sorts of relationships. Some are bad, some are good and some are just wonderful. When he tells you he loves you, the butterflies in your stomach flutters, your heart beats twice as fast, you feel so light as if you could fly. And then, you or your friend would cut out a heart-shaped paper and write your name + your boyfriend's name and at the end, there will be a "forever". But that's at first. What happens when he gets addicted to something, let's say a game, and before that, you two used to get along so well. I mean, like, communicate for hours. Talk on the phone, chat, email, face to face. All that and then, when he fell in love with the game, you feel like you're forgotten, when he doesn't really forgets you. But how would you know that he's thinking about you all of the time when he plays his game, and you keep waiting for him to go online, to call you, to at least send a text message to you to say that he misses you like a pathetic person? What if he forgets about you? What if he like, sets a date when you guys can chat or talk to each other, but then, when he does call or go online, you didn't pick up the phone or you didn't go online and you missed your one and only chance to talk to him. But it wasn't on purpose. Maybe you were busy, maybe you were sleeping, maybe there was internet problem. His free time might not be your free time. What if it has been so long since you two had a long private conversation together, and you fall out of love with him? Maybe it's not that long, just that, sometimes, when you love somebody, two days seems like forever. You can say that it's nothing, it's just a day or two, but you'd be surprise of what would happen, like if you cry 'cause you miss him so much.
If I'm writing this, it doesn't mean that I am having these problems. It's just on my mind. Like, what if it were really to happen. How would you feel? Would you have expected it? I'm not saying that I've had experience will all these. I don't. Well, maybe some of it, but I don't know. Maybe I read something like this in a book somewhere. It doesn't really mean I have to go through it to know about it. Maybe I've seen my friends having these kind of experiences, maybe that's why these things are in my head. Just because I write about that heart shaped paper thingy, doesn't mean I do it. Just because I wrote that question about falling out of love with somebody, doesn't mean that I am falling out of love with Haziq. Doesn't mean I want more time with him, although it would be nice. I mean, sometimes, I don't want time with him, I need time with him. But I don't know. I just get through it. Sometimes, people just need to get through something they can't get. Just ignore the empty feeling I guess. It's not that I couldn't get it, I could always text him and say "I wanna chat with you", it's just that, I don't want to intrude his guy time. Of course, it can't be all the time that he plays his game, but whatever I guess. I can't control him. I just have to get through the day. Even if I cry sometimes. It doesn't really matter. Whatever makes him happy, makes me happy. I think. I don't know. It's just that, when he chats with me, I don't want him to do it because he has to. I want him to do it because he wants to. If you think I'm writing this because I want him to do this and that, you're wrong. I don't, really. Like I said, I don't want him to do it unless he wants to. So, like, just.. I'm sorry. I don't know what has gotten into me. Maybe I'm just one of those people who thinks that two days is forever. I don't know. It's not that we don't talk, it's just that, we haven't talked or chat for hours. The last time we chatted, it only lasted for about two seconds. Once, when he said he has got to go after a few minutes, my heart actually sank. But it's no big deal. I don't think so it is. He's a good guy. Let him be. When I really really need him, I'll say it. At least now, I can live through the day. *Shrug* I know, I am so complicated. How unlucky of him to have me :P. Sorry.
Anyway, so still certain that something could be forever? Can your relationship with your best friend last forever? Can the relationship between you and your partner be forever? Even if your bond with somebody is so close, you can't even explain it, anything could happen. Maybe I am just talking crap, but think about it. All the "what ifs", all the possibilities. You never know.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Expect the Unexpected
If you still remember, me and Lisa had a fight about someone a few months ago. And like, after that, we never really talked to each other. Well, not much anyway. Then, there was this hating each other part and all that. Until yesterday...
Ever since the birthday thingy, I never really talked to her, or make eye contact with her or anything. I run away from her every time she comes near. I avoided talking to her when I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind. I tried to annoy her by hanging in front of her class. When I started thinking about it again, it's kinda really funny. I mean, like, I'm heading to this place, then, when I see her there, I run away. I knew that she wasn't gonna like, you know, make me suffer or anything, I just felt like I needed to be far away from her for some reason, and now, I'm laughing at how stupid I was.
So anyway, yesterday, something happened. Something REALLY unexpected. I was facebooking, as usual, when suddenly, Lisa said, "Hello amilah". I was like, That's freaky. Did I do something wrong? What did I do wrong? I replied. Weirdly, we were chatting like we're normal friends. We were talking about Tumblr and how funny the pictures in it are and all that when suddenly, she asked about my blog. I said that I changed the url and all to keep my sister from reading it. I gave her the new url. She read about the post I posted about my birthday. She said it wasn't her who made the song about me. She just sang along with it. Somehow, I believed her and I wasn't curious of who made it. I just apologized. Then I told her that I was kinda scared to go near her and all that and she laughed or something, which made me realise of how stupid that was. I mean, running away from her, not telling her la. Like she said, it's not like she eats people. I was actually scared because I thought I might say something bad to her and if she tells her mom, I'd be in trouble. Then she told me that she tells her mom stuffs because she can talk to her without her dumping her or something like friends do. And she just feels comfortable. It's not like, she tells her mom stuffs and her mom will call the principal and I'll get in trouble. So, like, wow. Everything I thought was actually wrong. Before she told me that, I thought when she tells her mom stuffs, her mom would tell the teachers and do this and that and I'd be in trouble and blah blah. Expect the unexpected. What I thought was wrong. Way wrong.
Then, the chat went on. She told me that she had a dream the other day. About her re-doing everything or something. It was a few weeks after she got in SAB. She went to Puan Foo a bit late and she would've got in Syahbandar instead of Bendahara. And then, we'd all go marching together and all. And her, me and Haziq would have hung out together and the whole fight was never to happen. Wait, maybe that's her daydream. Or maybe her daydream was this. She was still in Bendahara. When Haziq gave her the note about him liking Nadhrah, she would just laugh it off and agreed with me that it was just his heart. And she would have not broken up with Haziq until he says so. And all the fighting stuffs would have never happened. We'd never have become enemies. Wait, I think I got everything mixed up. I don't know la. It's something like that.
But then again, if that fight were never to happen, all of this would never happen. So, it was kind of a good thing AND a bad thing. But it happened already, so, there's no way to fix it. I'm guessing she regretted the fight. Not that I'm saying I don't. 'Cause I do. A lot. I kind of realised everything now. If she didn't care of what I think, she would have never got mad when I said her braces are ugly, which they aren't really, 'cause, well, let's face it. Everything on her, even if it's clown make-up, she'll look pretty. If she was really over me, as in a best friend, not like lesbian partners, she'd never talk about me behind her back. She wouldn't have taken everything I said very seriously. Yeah, we're kinda the same. I mean, if I was over her, I wouldn't have cared that she curses me behind my back. I wouldn't have been scared to approach her. I would have blocked her in Facebook months ago. I wouldn't have posted so many blog posts about her if I didn't care. And sometimes, I kinda miss her and wished that I could just go to her and apologize.
I'm guessing we're friends now? I kinda need somebody to talk to about boys and all that. Well, I do have Double D.. but, it's like... I don't know. Since the last time I talked to Lisa, it was mostly about boys and she reaaaally knows a lot. It's kinda fun. I wonder if we'd be like old times. Everyday, after school, I'd be calling her and we'd be on the phone talking about stuffs for over an hour. Okay, this is random. I just remembered that her favourite drink is Iced Lemon Tea. That stuff keeps popping in my mind every time I drink em. And then, when I'm in bookstores, stuffs like, Lisa likes Jean Ure books and books like that la. Ish, weird facts.
I guess things do happen for a reason.
P/S: I'm sorry, Lisa.
Ever since the birthday thingy, I never really talked to her, or make eye contact with her or anything. I run away from her every time she comes near. I avoided talking to her when I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind. I tried to annoy her by hanging in front of her class. When I started thinking about it again, it's kinda really funny. I mean, like, I'm heading to this place, then, when I see her there, I run away. I knew that she wasn't gonna like, you know, make me suffer or anything, I just felt like I needed to be far away from her for some reason, and now, I'm laughing at how stupid I was.
So anyway, yesterday, something happened. Something REALLY unexpected. I was facebooking, as usual, when suddenly, Lisa said, "Hello amilah". I was like, That's freaky. Did I do something wrong? What did I do wrong? I replied. Weirdly, we were chatting like we're normal friends. We were talking about Tumblr and how funny the pictures in it are and all that when suddenly, she asked about my blog. I said that I changed the url and all to keep my sister from reading it. I gave her the new url. She read about the post I posted about my birthday. She said it wasn't her who made the song about me. She just sang along with it. Somehow, I believed her and I wasn't curious of who made it. I just apologized. Then I told her that I was kinda scared to go near her and all that and she laughed or something, which made me realise of how stupid that was. I mean, running away from her, not telling her la. Like she said, it's not like she eats people. I was actually scared because I thought I might say something bad to her and if she tells her mom, I'd be in trouble. Then she told me that she tells her mom stuffs because she can talk to her without her dumping her or something like friends do. And she just feels comfortable. It's not like, she tells her mom stuffs and her mom will call the principal and I'll get in trouble. So, like, wow. Everything I thought was actually wrong. Before she told me that, I thought when she tells her mom stuffs, her mom would tell the teachers and do this and that and I'd be in trouble and blah blah. Expect the unexpected. What I thought was wrong. Way wrong.
Then, the chat went on. She told me that she had a dream the other day. About her re-doing everything or something. It was a few weeks after she got in SAB. She went to Puan Foo a bit late and she would've got in Syahbandar instead of Bendahara. And then, we'd all go marching together and all. And her, me and Haziq would have hung out together and the whole fight was never to happen. Wait, maybe that's her daydream. Or maybe her daydream was this. She was still in Bendahara. When Haziq gave her the note about him liking Nadhrah, she would just laugh it off and agreed with me that it was just his heart. And she would have not broken up with Haziq until he says so. And all the fighting stuffs would have never happened. We'd never have become enemies. Wait, I think I got everything mixed up. I don't know la. It's something like that.
But then again, if that fight were never to happen, all of this would never happen. So, it was kind of a good thing AND a bad thing. But it happened already, so, there's no way to fix it. I'm guessing she regretted the fight. Not that I'm saying I don't. 'Cause I do. A lot. I kind of realised everything now. If she didn't care of what I think, she would have never got mad when I said her braces are ugly, which they aren't really, 'cause, well, let's face it. Everything on her, even if it's clown make-up, she'll look pretty. If she was really over me, as in a best friend, not like lesbian partners, she'd never talk about me behind her back. She wouldn't have taken everything I said very seriously. Yeah, we're kinda the same. I mean, if I was over her, I wouldn't have cared that she curses me behind my back. I wouldn't have been scared to approach her. I would have blocked her in Facebook months ago. I wouldn't have posted so many blog posts about her if I didn't care. And sometimes, I kinda miss her and wished that I could just go to her and apologize.
I'm guessing we're friends now? I kinda need somebody to talk to about boys and all that. Well, I do have Double D.. but, it's like... I don't know. Since the last time I talked to Lisa, it was mostly about boys and she reaaaally knows a lot. It's kinda fun. I wonder if we'd be like old times. Everyday, after school, I'd be calling her and we'd be on the phone talking about stuffs for over an hour. Okay, this is random. I just remembered that her favourite drink is Iced Lemon Tea. That stuff keeps popping in my mind every time I drink em. And then, when I'm in bookstores, stuffs like, Lisa likes Jean Ure books and books like that la. Ish, weird facts.
I guess things do happen for a reason.
P/S: I'm sorry, Lisa.
Friday, July 23, 2010
HEY !
HEYYY !! HERE'S AN IDEA!!! What if somebody were to "un-purposely" shoot me in the head. Wouldn't that be nice? I wonder how many people would attend my funeral. Like, to do all the mourning stuffs, not send "I HATE YOU" cards to my dead body. I wish I could see myself when I am dead.
Arguments
Arguments are just stupid. Especially the arguments I have with my younger sister. She is just sometimes so impossible!
Like just now. My friends were over. Five of them came over but at that time, there were only Dina and Double D. My sister was annoyingly annoying me by sitting in the middle of our "doing stuff place". She saw Dina playing with some barbies and she purposely went to where Dina was playing and just like, took over the place. She was like, assorting which barbie stuffs she wants to play with and not play with. I told her not to bother the place we're doing our project at. She assorted it more slowly. She knows that annoys me and she still does it!! What part of "GO AWAY" doesn't she understand?!
And then, every time I ask her what she wants, she just answers "UUUERRRGHHH" in that stupid tone of hers. SHE WANTED TO WATCH THE TV THERE ! OH MY GOD ! THERE IS A BIGGER TV IN MY MOTHER'S ROOM THAT SHE ALWAYS WATCHES!!!! Why can't she watch it there today?! As if it was so hard to get her butt over to my mom's room. It was only like, a meter away! And, I DRAGGED HER ALREADY! SHE KEEPS COMING BACK ! Come on ! I took the place first. I came first. I was up first. So, therefore, it was MY place ! There are two more TVs. Can't she watch those two instead of the one at the place where me and my friends were sitting at?! Oh yeah, that time, the others came already. They were like, closing their ears to keep from hearing me shout and her stupid voice.
Then, at night, I was sleepy. It was about 7.30 that time. I went to my room to read my book and maybe rest my eyes a bit. Suddenly, at 8.30, my mom pulled my hand, shouting at me, asking me to wake up. We were going out. I thought I was late already. I quickly ran downstairs and saw my sister EATING SLOWLY!! What? She sleeps, and my mom wakes her up as if she's an angel. When my mom wakes ME up, it's as if the house was burning. And then, I was mad la, of course ! Seeing my sister still eating when I had to run here and there. Suddenly my brother got mad at me. How stupid. I just ignored him. Not like it was his business or anything. I slept , AGAIN, just to annoy my mother.
Now, I don't feel like getting near them or see their faces. I don't wanna talk to them. They just ruined my whole day. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm the only normal one in my family and because of that, I am not loved as much as my brother and sisters are by my parents.
Like just now. My friends were over. Five of them came over but at that time, there were only Dina and Double D. My sister was annoyingly annoying me by sitting in the middle of our "doing stuff place". She saw Dina playing with some barbies and she purposely went to where Dina was playing and just like, took over the place. She was like, assorting which barbie stuffs she wants to play with and not play with. I told her not to bother the place we're doing our project at. She assorted it more slowly. She knows that annoys me and she still does it!! What part of "GO AWAY" doesn't she understand?!
And then, every time I ask her what she wants, she just answers "UUUERRRGHHH" in that stupid tone of hers. SHE WANTED TO WATCH THE TV THERE ! OH MY GOD ! THERE IS A BIGGER TV IN MY MOTHER'S ROOM THAT SHE ALWAYS WATCHES!!!! Why can't she watch it there today?! As if it was so hard to get her butt over to my mom's room. It was only like, a meter away! And, I DRAGGED HER ALREADY! SHE KEEPS COMING BACK ! Come on ! I took the place first. I came first. I was up first. So, therefore, it was MY place ! There are two more TVs. Can't she watch those two instead of the one at the place where me and my friends were sitting at?! Oh yeah, that time, the others came already. They were like, closing their ears to keep from hearing me shout and her stupid voice.
Then, at night, I was sleepy. It was about 7.30 that time. I went to my room to read my book and maybe rest my eyes a bit. Suddenly, at 8.30, my mom pulled my hand, shouting at me, asking me to wake up. We were going out. I thought I was late already. I quickly ran downstairs and saw my sister EATING SLOWLY!! What? She sleeps, and my mom wakes her up as if she's an angel. When my mom wakes ME up, it's as if the house was burning. And then, I was mad la, of course ! Seeing my sister still eating when I had to run here and there. Suddenly my brother got mad at me. How stupid. I just ignored him. Not like it was his business or anything. I slept , AGAIN, just to annoy my mother.
Now, I don't feel like getting near them or see their faces. I don't wanna talk to them. They just ruined my whole day. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm the only normal one in my family and because of that, I am not loved as much as my brother and sisters are by my parents.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Uhh..
I say 'like' too much, don't I? Sorry. I didn't realise that. I'll try to not use that word very often. I can see that it annoys SOME people.
Rich People
I don't know why, but I really envy those rich people in school. They're always like, buying awesome designer clothes that I will never own. Use those really big and expensive cameras and all. Though, I do admit that I don't like them. They seem big and heavy and it's hard to take pictures with them. But the pictures are really nice. Then, the rich people would always have like, designer shoes, designer bags, designer accessories and all that. They also have those hair. Like, I mean, they always straighten or curl their hair. Why? It just ruins all the naturalness.
I do admit that I don't really like what the rich people do with themselves. I mean, $700 for a pair of outfits that are not really THAT nice? I could buy something nicer for $20. But I don't know. Their money. I don't have the right to say it's ugly or wrong.
Then, rich people are always going out of the country to all the other countries in the world. They go to all the best countries. Italy, Milan, France, etc. It's like, so unfair ! You get to learn all the cultures, see all the beautiful scenery and like, see what people there actually look like and do. Best part is that, they get to fly in business class or first class ! Which is so not fair.
One more thing I notice about rich people are.. If they are Muslims, they don't really care about it. I mean, the girls still wear short skirts and sleeveless tops, even if they know it's wrong. Most of them la. I just think it's kinda wrong. But it's them. So, why bother?
AAAAHHH !! When I get older, I wanna be a billionaire and buy a private jet and fly the whole world ! I know, I daydream too much.
I do admit that I don't really like what the rich people do with themselves. I mean, $700 for a pair of outfits that are not really THAT nice? I could buy something nicer for $20. But I don't know. Their money. I don't have the right to say it's ugly or wrong.
Then, rich people are always going out of the country to all the other countries in the world. They go to all the best countries. Italy, Milan, France, etc. It's like, so unfair ! You get to learn all the cultures, see all the beautiful scenery and like, see what people there actually look like and do. Best part is that, they get to fly in business class or first class ! Which is so not fair.
One more thing I notice about rich people are.. If they are Muslims, they don't really care about it. I mean, the girls still wear short skirts and sleeveless tops, even if they know it's wrong. Most of them la. I just think it's kinda wrong. But it's them. So, why bother?
AAAAHHH !! When I get older, I wanna be a billionaire and buy a private jet and fly the whole world ! I know, I daydream too much.
Haziq and Amil. Wow.
Baby, I love you.
Like, OH MY GOD !! WE'RE TOGETHER?! I mean, like, who could ever thought THAT would happen? Fine, most of the people. But, I didn't ! Well, I didn't expect it, but I did thought of how it would be like if we were together. Oh wait, did I tell you that I'm talking about me and Haziq? Yes, Haziq, the big headed alien who used to JUST be my best friend. No offense, Haziq. I don't know why, but, I just still can't believe it really happening sometimes. It just feels unreal.
Never, in my thirteen year old life did a guy that I like, likes me back. Well, at least not when I like them. So, it's like, unreal and just.. WOW ! The only explanation. I think I'm really shocked because he used to be just my friend. I still don't get how people (and him) had expected us to be together. Do we reaaaaally act as if we were a couple even before we were? Wait, so, killing him and him teasing me are what couples do? I've got A LOT to learn.
Haziq is the most caring, sweetest, most romantic boyfriend ever in the history of the most caring, sweetest, most romantic boyfriends. He said he daydreams that we're at a park, under a tree and all that. I freeze every time he says that. The first time he said it, I was like, I couldn't breathe. It was so sweet how he said it. It feels like I was not in this world. As if I was flying to another planet.
I never really thought that I'd be one of those girls who melts when he says, "I love you", freezes when he says something sweet. I never really thought I could be in this lovey-dovey scene with the guy I love. I never really thought that this kind of thing would ever happen to me. Last month, it just seemed impossible. Now, it's happening. Weird...
When I chat with him, I feel like there's just the two of us in this world. I know that's not true. That's why I always like, try to keep myself from thinking that. It's not that what we chat about is so special. It's just that it's fun to chat with him. To be able to communicate. And it's good that we don't just chat about our relationship. Not that I hate it. It's just like, if you talk about the same stuff over and over again, people will get bored. So, even if what me and Haziq chat about are stupid and mean stuffs, at least we don't talk about the same stuff over and over again. There are those occasional awkward silences though. That usually happens when I freeze and all my brain could process at that moment is "AAAAAAAAHHHHH" xD.
I know that our relationship is almost a month, but it's just that, it's hard to believe. You'd probably be like me if you were in my situation. Imagine, six months ago, you were just friends. Then, a month later, you're in a relationship with each other. Isn't it like, weird? I mean, you need time to adapt to the situation. But the weird thing is that, when I chat with him, I totally forget about this. TOTALLY! This is what boy charms can do to girls.
I don't know about him but I still get that fluttery feeling in my heart when I think about him or see him around. I still get those 'my heart skipped a beat' moments when I remembered a random fact about him. I still smile uncontrollably when I catch him looking at me during assemblies. I still feel like I can't breathe whenever he pops into my mind all of a sudden or when he says, "I love you". I still feel like as if I could fly just being around him. I guess I'm the luckiest girl in this world to have him as my boyfriend. I have never met anyone as perfect as him. He is like, the best.
Of course, there are some things I don't tell him. Well, not some. There are a lot about me that I didn't tell him. But I don't think he'll wanna listen anyway. There are also some stuffs about him that I know about from some friends from his primary school that I don't think he knows I know.
If you'd ask me to list fifty random facts about him, I bet I could do it. But I don't think so what I write about him is 100% true. It's not that I am obsessed with him or anything, it's just that, when he says something about him, it's just stuck in my head. I just don't forget stuffs about people I love that easily. (Or the people I hate). And besides, sometimes, when I'm thinking about something that bores me, one of our chats came flashing back to my mind. There's no way I could forget what he said.
Honestly, I still have some doubts. Not that I don't trust him. It's just that, there's something he said a month ago that keeps bothering me. Oh God. I even cried a bit thinking about it the other day in the hall, where there were lots of people. Ish. I hope nobody noticed. But.. I guess it's just in my mind. So, I just should stop thinking about it and everything's gonna be good, I guess.
Darling, I hope you'll be mine forever. I don't think I can live without you in my life. I'd never do anything to hurt you. If I did, I'm sorry. Really, I am. If I did anything wrong or make you sad or mad, I'm sorry. If I do something you don't like, please tell. And I got to tell you something. I really really really love you. <3
Like, OH MY GOD !! WE'RE TOGETHER?! I mean, like, who could ever thought THAT would happen? Fine, most of the people. But, I didn't ! Well, I didn't expect it, but I did thought of how it would be like if we were together. Oh wait, did I tell you that I'm talking about me and Haziq? Yes, Haziq, the big headed alien who used to JUST be my best friend. No offense, Haziq. I don't know why, but, I just still can't believe it really happening sometimes. It just feels unreal.
Never, in my thirteen year old life did a guy that I like, likes me back. Well, at least not when I like them. So, it's like, unreal and just.. WOW ! The only explanation. I think I'm really shocked because he used to be just my friend. I still don't get how people (and him) had expected us to be together. Do we reaaaaally act as if we were a couple even before we were? Wait, so, killing him and him teasing me are what couples do? I've got A LOT to learn.
Haziq is the most caring, sweetest, most romantic boyfriend ever in the history of the most caring, sweetest, most romantic boyfriends. He said he daydreams that we're at a park, under a tree and all that. I freeze every time he says that. The first time he said it, I was like, I couldn't breathe. It was so sweet how he said it. It feels like I was not in this world. As if I was flying to another planet.
I never really thought that I'd be one of those girls who melts when he says, "I love you", freezes when he says something sweet. I never really thought I could be in this lovey-dovey scene with the guy I love. I never really thought that this kind of thing would ever happen to me. Last month, it just seemed impossible. Now, it's happening. Weird...
When I chat with him, I feel like there's just the two of us in this world. I know that's not true. That's why I always like, try to keep myself from thinking that. It's not that what we chat about is so special. It's just that it's fun to chat with him. To be able to communicate. And it's good that we don't just chat about our relationship. Not that I hate it. It's just like, if you talk about the same stuff over and over again, people will get bored. So, even if what me and Haziq chat about are stupid and mean stuffs, at least we don't talk about the same stuff over and over again. There are those occasional awkward silences though. That usually happens when I freeze and all my brain could process at that moment is "AAAAAAAAHHHHH" xD.
I know that our relationship is almost a month, but it's just that, it's hard to believe. You'd probably be like me if you were in my situation. Imagine, six months ago, you were just friends. Then, a month later, you're in a relationship with each other. Isn't it like, weird? I mean, you need time to adapt to the situation. But the weird thing is that, when I chat with him, I totally forget about this. TOTALLY! This is what boy charms can do to girls.
I don't know about him but I still get that fluttery feeling in my heart when I think about him or see him around. I still get those 'my heart skipped a beat' moments when I remembered a random fact about him. I still smile uncontrollably when I catch him looking at me during assemblies. I still feel like I can't breathe whenever he pops into my mind all of a sudden or when he says, "I love you". I still feel like as if I could fly just being around him. I guess I'm the luckiest girl in this world to have him as my boyfriend. I have never met anyone as perfect as him. He is like, the best.
Of course, there are some things I don't tell him. Well, not some. There are a lot about me that I didn't tell him. But I don't think he'll wanna listen anyway. There are also some stuffs about him that I know about from some friends from his primary school that I don't think he knows I know.
If you'd ask me to list fifty random facts about him, I bet I could do it. But I don't think so what I write about him is 100% true. It's not that I am obsessed with him or anything, it's just that, when he says something about him, it's just stuck in my head. I just don't forget stuffs about people I love that easily. (Or the people I hate). And besides, sometimes, when I'm thinking about something that bores me, one of our chats came flashing back to my mind. There's no way I could forget what he said.
Honestly, I still have some doubts. Not that I don't trust him. It's just that, there's something he said a month ago that keeps bothering me. Oh God. I even cried a bit thinking about it the other day in the hall, where there were lots of people. Ish. I hope nobody noticed. But.. I guess it's just in my mind. So, I just should stop thinking about it and everything's gonna be good, I guess.
Darling, I hope you'll be mine forever. I don't think I can live without you in my life. I'd never do anything to hurt you. If I did, I'm sorry. Really, I am. If I did anything wrong or make you sad or mad, I'm sorry. If I do something you don't like, please tell. And I got to tell you something. I really really really love you. <3
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Weird...
Wait wait, so... 2003 to 2006, I was cute like a baby doll from Cabbage Patch (as Raihah said it)
Then, 2007 I looked like a nerd with no glasses.
2008 and 2009 I looked ugly.
Suddenly, 2010, I'm pretty? How weird.
Sorry, I'm too lazy to put pictures.
Then, 2007 I looked like a nerd with no glasses.
2008 and 2009 I looked ugly.
Suddenly, 2010, I'm pretty? How weird.
Sorry, I'm too lazy to put pictures.
I guess that's how Life works
To be honest, I don't really know how life works. I mean, life doesn't have steps. Well, maybe they do. But then, they don't have instructions. Everybody is different. We may go through the same steps, but we live it differently. This one person might be a nerd and this other person might be a party animal in their teenage phrase of life. No one can really judge how we live. Maybe they can, but we live and we learn. We'll change when we feel like it. Nobody can tell us what we're doing with our lives are right or wrong. It's up to that person to live his/her life in what way. They just live their lives as long as they are happy.
Everybody makes mistakes. Maybe some people just make minor ones and some make major ones, but they are still mistakes. So, nobody is actually different. Most people think that when they make a major mistake, they'll die or their life will end. But they are just exaggerating. Yeah, you might get scolded, but it's just a mistake. Like you're the only one who had ever done it. Sometimes, it doesn't even get close to dying. We sometimes remember that one particular mistake that we made; even if it was 10 years ago. But through those kind of mistakes are how we learn to be a better person. Like I said, we live and we learn. After we lived that moment of embarrassment or torture, we learn that we should not do that ever again. Somehow, even with all the embarrassment, making mistakes are the best thing for somebody to do. It's true that one mistake comes after another. Maybe that's just the time for you to learn a lot of things.
These things just come naturally. You can't stop them from coming. You can't plan when you want it to come and when you want it to go. Maybe when it comes, you'll feel useless and stupid but think of it this way, at least you learned something from that experience. Okay, so, maybe one person does more than once of the same mistake. Doesn't mean it's the end of the world. So what? It's just a mistake. Maybe the consequences are big, but just go with the flow. It will work out. Once you've done something wrong, doesn't mean that you will do that something wrong forever.
Perfection. Everybody wants it. But nobody is perfect except for Rasullulah s.a.w. Although that is how it is, I still see people striving for perfection. Why? To whom are you gonna share your perfection with if you're perfect? Perfection isn't everything. Even though there are perfectionists in this world, they aren't perfect. Maybe their art works are perfect. Maybe what they do are perfect. But they are still not perfect. What's the use of being perfect anyway? Maybe if you're perfect, the first two days, you'll enjoy it, but after a long while, you'll get bored of it. Because perfect people don't really have fun. Like, when they play a game, they just win. They never lose and stuff and I'm talking crap now.
Do not underestimate yourself. When people see something extreme, they will always say that they can't do that. The thing is, you can. You just won't. Don't think that you can't do something. You'd be surprise of what you can do. Saying that you can't do something is just stupid. You could jump off a plane if you wanted to, and you can, you just don't want to. Saying that you're dumb is another thing. Nobody is dumb. Everybody has a brain. Everybody thinks. Some people are just slow. But that doesn't mean they are dumb. Just because you don't understand a word, doesn't mean you're dumb. Maybe that person is just a little bit advanced. You are not not worthless or useless. Don't ever think that. You may not know it, but to other people, you might be priceless and useful. You might mean the whole world to a person. So, over a mistake or if you think you're useless, do not do anything to hurt yourself. Just get over it and move on. It's not that hard.
Sometimes you just need to be critical. When you criticise others, don't forget how you'd feel if they criticised you. If you say that person is irritating, how would you feel if that person says that to you? But don't take criticism too personally. It's not really good. If some people were to talk behind your back and say bad stuffs about you, that's just how they feel. Just keep quiet about it. Actually, you could learn a thing or two from the criticisms. It's like, something to make you change yourself from bad to good.
Changing is hard, I know. It's harder when you DON'T want to change. Sometimes you just feel comfortable with yourself, even if you are annoying and rude. But it's best to change to a better person la. But if you don't feel like changing, who's making you? Nobody is stopping you from anything. When you feel the time is right to change, then change. Who knows? If people hated you before this, they might like you if you changed.
Don't expect life to be easy or trouble-free. Life is not easy. If it's easy, it won't be life (I'm talking crap). Do not complain. Well, not too much. If you complain, that means you'd expect life to be easy. Do you think you should be exempt from the rest of the human race?
Well, I guess that's for now. Just a reminder: If you think your life is imperfect, don't sweat it. None of our lives are perfect. Truth is, being imperfect is way better than being perfect.
Everybody makes mistakes. Maybe some people just make minor ones and some make major ones, but they are still mistakes. So, nobody is actually different. Most people think that when they make a major mistake, they'll die or their life will end. But they are just exaggerating. Yeah, you might get scolded, but it's just a mistake. Like you're the only one who had ever done it. Sometimes, it doesn't even get close to dying. We sometimes remember that one particular mistake that we made; even if it was 10 years ago. But through those kind of mistakes are how we learn to be a better person. Like I said, we live and we learn. After we lived that moment of embarrassment or torture, we learn that we should not do that ever again. Somehow, even with all the embarrassment, making mistakes are the best thing for somebody to do. It's true that one mistake comes after another. Maybe that's just the time for you to learn a lot of things.
These things just come naturally. You can't stop them from coming. You can't plan when you want it to come and when you want it to go. Maybe when it comes, you'll feel useless and stupid but think of it this way, at least you learned something from that experience. Okay, so, maybe one person does more than once of the same mistake. Doesn't mean it's the end of the world. So what? It's just a mistake. Maybe the consequences are big, but just go with the flow. It will work out. Once you've done something wrong, doesn't mean that you will do that something wrong forever.
Perfection. Everybody wants it. But nobody is perfect except for Rasullulah s.a.w. Although that is how it is, I still see people striving for perfection. Why? To whom are you gonna share your perfection with if you're perfect? Perfection isn't everything. Even though there are perfectionists in this world, they aren't perfect. Maybe their art works are perfect. Maybe what they do are perfect. But they are still not perfect. What's the use of being perfect anyway? Maybe if you're perfect, the first two days, you'll enjoy it, but after a long while, you'll get bored of it. Because perfect people don't really have fun. Like, when they play a game, they just win. They never lose and stuff and I'm talking crap now.
Do not underestimate yourself. When people see something extreme, they will always say that they can't do that. The thing is, you can. You just won't. Don't think that you can't do something. You'd be surprise of what you can do. Saying that you can't do something is just stupid. You could jump off a plane if you wanted to, and you can, you just don't want to. Saying that you're dumb is another thing. Nobody is dumb. Everybody has a brain. Everybody thinks. Some people are just slow. But that doesn't mean they are dumb. Just because you don't understand a word, doesn't mean you're dumb. Maybe that person is just a little bit advanced. You are not not worthless or useless. Don't ever think that. You may not know it, but to other people, you might be priceless and useful. You might mean the whole world to a person. So, over a mistake or if you think you're useless, do not do anything to hurt yourself. Just get over it and move on. It's not that hard.
Sometimes you just need to be critical. When you criticise others, don't forget how you'd feel if they criticised you. If you say that person is irritating, how would you feel if that person says that to you? But don't take criticism too personally. It's not really good. If some people were to talk behind your back and say bad stuffs about you, that's just how they feel. Just keep quiet about it. Actually, you could learn a thing or two from the criticisms. It's like, something to make you change yourself from bad to good.
Changing is hard, I know. It's harder when you DON'T want to change. Sometimes you just feel comfortable with yourself, even if you are annoying and rude. But it's best to change to a better person la. But if you don't feel like changing, who's making you? Nobody is stopping you from anything. When you feel the time is right to change, then change. Who knows? If people hated you before this, they might like you if you changed.
Don't expect life to be easy or trouble-free. Life is not easy. If it's easy, it won't be life (I'm talking crap). Do not complain. Well, not too much. If you complain, that means you'd expect life to be easy. Do you think you should be exempt from the rest of the human race?
Well, I guess that's for now. Just a reminder: If you think your life is imperfect, don't sweat it. None of our lives are perfect. Truth is, being imperfect is way better than being perfect.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Worst Day
I've had lots of bad days. But I think last Thursday (15/7) was the worst. Well, it started out good, but then, when I started living in the reality, it sucked !
Okay, first, Puan Kaladevi, my maths teacher, was in a bad mood. She was like, ordering and scolding people and stuff for no reason. And then, it was PUAN LEE ! She's my art teacher. She ordered us to do the poster or stamp or something la for the art thingy thing. So, I was like, whatever. At least she is not teaching.
Turns out, nobody brought their paint except ME ! So, everybody was like, asking for paint from me and stuff. A few people were fine, but the whole class is ... I don't know the word. It's like, you do know there's arts today, so why didn't you guys bring any paint?! Well, that's to the people who I don't really know well la. I didn't really mind sharing with Raihah, Dina, Double D, Izyan, Sonia, Adilah, Nenexx and all that. But like, Syafii. I don't really know him and all he does is annoy me !! How can I NOT get mad at him for using my paint when I needed that colour ! YES, THAT SPECIFIC COLOUR ! Then, when I was painting, not really mad at that time, the teacher came and scolded me for not bringing a pellet !! HELLO !! THAT PAINT COVER THINGY IS THE PELLET ! I thought you were the teacher. You should know what's a pellet and what's not. AND WASN'T IT ENOUGH THAT I HAD BROUGHT THE PAINT?! Then, she taught us some things about the folio. She keeps on targeting me!!! I mean, one second, I look away, she scolds me. Oh, what about the rest, huh? When she finished, she went to where Adilah, Zafirah and Anisha were doing their work. Suddenly, Double D told me that the teacher threw some paint or something. I thought it was nothing. I went to their place. I saw the teacher painting somebody's art. I thought she was just doing it for fun or something. I continued my art work. Adilah came and I made her tell everything. She said that she put the pellet under her desk so that it'd be easier for them to paint or something. Puan Lee thought that they didn't have a pellet, so she threw my beige paint. Adilah said, only a little bit of paint spilled. I was pretty mad at Puan Lee that time ! Then, Puan Lee came to the place that I was doing my work at, and she said, "Sakit hati kan kawan macam itu?" Sorry, Puan Lee, but do you realise that YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MADE ME MAD ?! URGH !!!!!
Then, it was PJ. I thought it was gonna be better, but of course, I was wrong. The water bottle in my bag wasn't really closed tightly, so the water spilled and my pj shirt got wet. Thank God Adriana was nice enough to let me borrow her shirt. I made Double D run up to class with me again 'cause I thought I dropped my purse somewhere. It was in class -____-''. When we were lining up, Haziq walked by (-_______-''). Great ! Humiliation !! My shirt was tucked in, so I practically looked like a nerd. Then, I only got a 4 for the points or something. Curse it. When it was my turn to play, I stepped in a puddle. And then, I got scolded by Puan Foo for being in the wrong position. HOW SHOULD I KNOW WHICH POSITION I SHOULD BE IN?! I was like, really sweaty when I was changing. Luckily, Dina brought her perfume.
When I was about to get a drink, the vending machine was NOT working ! GAHH !! I HAD TO GET IN LINE AT THAT PLACE !!! :| . Sheesh. I told Kamalesh all about it and he laughed. -____-''
I stood Jin Zhe up. He wanted to paint my face, and I said okay. But then, I went to Petronas with Izyan and Double D and I forgot everything about it. Ashvin invited me to watch him and Haziq act in Drama Club at 5C. I thought, Well, okay. Pandu log book isn't that much, right? I WAS WRONG ! AGAIN ! The log book was A LOT OF WORK ! To make it worse, that place was hot ! I couldn't stand to be there more than 20 minutes ! I went for a walk with Dina. We didn't really know where 5C was, so we searched the whole block when it was just RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR EYES ! That was dumb. I peeked a bit. It was like, some gedik-girls thingy or something. I left. I got bored.
I forgot what else happened. But I know that that was the WORST day of my life. Well, for now. Ish ! Why do I think I can do this and that when I can't even do anything?
Okay, first, Puan Kaladevi, my maths teacher, was in a bad mood. She was like, ordering and scolding people and stuff for no reason. And then, it was PUAN LEE ! She's my art teacher. She ordered us to do the poster or stamp or something la for the art thingy thing. So, I was like, whatever. At least she is not teaching.
Turns out, nobody brought their paint except ME ! So, everybody was like, asking for paint from me and stuff. A few people were fine, but the whole class is ... I don't know the word. It's like, you do know there's arts today, so why didn't you guys bring any paint?! Well, that's to the people who I don't really know well la. I didn't really mind sharing with Raihah, Dina, Double D, Izyan, Sonia, Adilah, Nenexx and all that. But like, Syafii. I don't really know him and all he does is annoy me !! How can I NOT get mad at him for using my paint when I needed that colour ! YES, THAT SPECIFIC COLOUR ! Then, when I was painting, not really mad at that time, the teacher came and scolded me for not bringing a pellet !! HELLO !! THAT PAINT COVER THINGY IS THE PELLET ! I thought you were the teacher. You should know what's a pellet and what's not. AND WASN'T IT ENOUGH THAT I HAD BROUGHT THE PAINT?! Then, she taught us some things about the folio. She keeps on targeting me!!! I mean, one second, I look away, she scolds me. Oh, what about the rest, huh? When she finished, she went to where Adilah, Zafirah and Anisha were doing their work. Suddenly, Double D told me that the teacher threw some paint or something. I thought it was nothing. I went to their place. I saw the teacher painting somebody's art. I thought she was just doing it for fun or something. I continued my art work. Adilah came and I made her tell everything. She said that she put the pellet under her desk so that it'd be easier for them to paint or something. Puan Lee thought that they didn't have a pellet, so she threw my beige paint. Adilah said, only a little bit of paint spilled. I was pretty mad at Puan Lee that time ! Then, Puan Lee came to the place that I was doing my work at, and she said, "Sakit hati kan kawan macam itu?" Sorry, Puan Lee, but do you realise that YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MADE ME MAD ?! URGH !!!!!
Then, it was PJ. I thought it was gonna be better, but of course, I was wrong. The water bottle in my bag wasn't really closed tightly, so the water spilled and my pj shirt got wet. Thank God Adriana was nice enough to let me borrow her shirt. I made Double D run up to class with me again 'cause I thought I dropped my purse somewhere. It was in class -____-''. When we were lining up, Haziq walked by (-_______-''). Great ! Humiliation !! My shirt was tucked in, so I practically looked like a nerd. Then, I only got a 4 for the points or something. Curse it. When it was my turn to play, I stepped in a puddle. And then, I got scolded by Puan Foo for being in the wrong position. HOW SHOULD I KNOW WHICH POSITION I SHOULD BE IN?! I was like, really sweaty when I was changing. Luckily, Dina brought her perfume.
When I was about to get a drink, the vending machine was NOT working ! GAHH !! I HAD TO GET IN LINE AT THAT PLACE !!! :| . Sheesh. I told Kamalesh all about it and he laughed. -____-''
I stood Jin Zhe up. He wanted to paint my face, and I said okay. But then, I went to Petronas with Izyan and Double D and I forgot everything about it. Ashvin invited me to watch him and Haziq act in Drama Club at 5C. I thought, Well, okay. Pandu log book isn't that much, right? I WAS WRONG ! AGAIN ! The log book was A LOT OF WORK ! To make it worse, that place was hot ! I couldn't stand to be there more than 20 minutes ! I went for a walk with Dina. We didn't really know where 5C was, so we searched the whole block when it was just RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR EYES ! That was dumb. I peeked a bit. It was like, some gedik-girls thingy or something. I left. I got bored.
I forgot what else happened. But I know that that was the WORST day of my life. Well, for now. Ish ! Why do I think I can do this and that when I can't even do anything?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Memories :)
Since last Saturday, my mom has been busy bossing me around to move the things out from the bookshelves because me and my sister, Aaliya, are getting new study tables. So, the whole upstairs living room needs to be redecorated. Before, there were three bookshelves beside our study tables. Now, the space is empty. The books are all down on a carpet, the bookshelves have been move to all three of the bedrooms upstairs each(Wait, that's not right. Uhh, whatever), and the boxes above the bookshelves were put down. Most of the boxes were of my sister's. This one box is filled with birthday cards and hari raya cards. My sister must have been an awesome friend to have received that many cards. Sigh. I wish I could be like her. I'm also gonna explore ALL of her boxes one by one ! Muahahaha - Evil Sister.
The upstairs living room looks as if as a tornado had strike. It's just too messy in an oddly neat way. Weird. I can barely walk through the carpet without tripping !
Anyway, when I was snooping in one of my sister's box, I found these pictures of me of when I was in Year 2 and 3. I paused. Year 2 (2005), for me, was the best year ever. I guess it's because of that thing. I'm not gonna tell it here. It sucks now. I couldn't say that those pictures brought back nice memories, 'cause it did not. I hated my primary school. I just do. Though, it was nice to see my friends back when they were innocent, cute little kids. Now, we've all grown up and I guess we're just different people now. I remember that I didn't really like Dina then. Now, she's one of my best friends. I admit, those pictures did make me smile.
And then, when I was cleaning up something, I found a photo-frame-calendar-thingy-frame. It was empty, so, I took the pictures from a box that was hidden beneath some toys to fill in the photo-frame-calendar-thingy-frame (I'll call it calendar frame from now on). When I looked at the pictures, it made me live in the pictures or something. Like, living in the moment in the pictures. I saw pictures of me, short, gaped front teeth and short hair. It was back in '07. The pictures were at Euro Disneyland in Paris, France and in England somewhere. I can't believe I looked like that. I look so nerdy. Short hair, gaped teeth, red nose, wearing an over-sized pink sweater and a white coat. I can't believe that was me ! It's like, weird ! Anyway, when I looked at those pictures, memories of '07 came flashing back in my mind. I wonder why the photos were not kept in an album.
Memories are great ! Well, most of them. Some of them are just bad moments that are stuck in your head, finding a way to get out. But if you turn it around, (thinking positive) it could actually be a great memory. Seriously. Think of it like, if that wouldn't have happened, you won't be the you you are today. That's confusing. Maybe that's one of the reasons it won't get out of your mind. *Shrug*
P/S: Sorry that the pictures are a bit blur.
The upstairs living room looks as if as a tornado had strike. It's just too messy in an oddly neat way. Weird. I can barely walk through the carpet without tripping !
Anyway, when I was snooping in one of my sister's box, I found these pictures of me of when I was in Year 2 and 3. I paused. Year 2 (2005), for me, was the best year ever. I guess it's because of that thing. I'm not gonna tell it here. It sucks now. I couldn't say that those pictures brought back nice memories, 'cause it did not. I hated my primary school. I just do. Though, it was nice to see my friends back when they were innocent, cute little kids. Now, we've all grown up and I guess we're just different people now. I remember that I didn't really like Dina then. Now, she's one of my best friends. I admit, those pictures did make me smile.
And then, when I was cleaning up something, I found a photo-frame-calendar-thingy-frame. It was empty, so, I took the pictures from a box that was hidden beneath some toys to fill in the photo-frame-calendar-thingy-frame (I'll call it calendar frame from now on). When I looked at the pictures, it made me live in the pictures or something. Like, living in the moment in the pictures. I saw pictures of me, short, gaped front teeth and short hair. It was back in '07. The pictures were at Euro Disneyland in Paris, France and in England somewhere. I can't believe I looked like that. I look so nerdy. Short hair, gaped teeth, red nose, wearing an over-sized pink sweater and a white coat. I can't believe that was me ! It's like, weird ! Anyway, when I looked at those pictures, memories of '07 came flashing back in my mind. I wonder why the photos were not kept in an album. Memories are great ! Well, most of them. Some of them are just bad moments that are stuck in your head, finding a way to get out. But if you turn it around, (thinking positive) it could actually be a great memory. Seriously. Think of it like, if that wouldn't have happened, you won't be the you you are today. That's confusing. Maybe that's one of the reasons it won't get out of your mind. *Shrug*
P/S: Sorry that the pictures are a bit blur.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Problems, problems
Want to know something? I HATE PROBLEMS ! They always come to me. I can't go through ONE DAY without having any problems. Every time one problem is solved, another comes 'round. Why? Can't the problems just leave me alone for at least one day and go to somebody else? Yeah, I know. I'm talking like I'm the only one who has problems, not knowing that other people might have bigger problems. But, I don't know. They all seem so happy. It's as if the problems don't come to them.
Sometimes, the starting of the day turns out good but at the end of it, it all turns bad for some reason ! Sometimes, it's the other way around. Still, there will be problems. I think that this all happens because of Facebook. I mean, after school, I'd be happy, then, when I see a certain somebody's status or face, I'd go mad and my mind starts to flashback everything she said to me. Sometimes, it's her friends. It's like, automatically effects my happiness.
Okay, I admit, that thing only happens for a sec and then, there would be this person who makes everything better. I don't know HOW he does it, but he does it. So, like, I kinda hate him for that and kinda not. BUT THE PROBLEM STILL HAPPENS !!!
There is, though, ONE problem that nobody can make me feel better about. Maybe some people can, but only for that moment, when I'm with those 'some people'. The other times when I'm not with those 'some people', I'd be not better again. I don't know why ! Stop asking me why ! It's automatically set in my mind ! And, to say that I don't care, it's hard 'cause it's about me ! If somebody were to talk about you, and you found out about it, won't you care? And okay, maybe you would, but only for a second and stuff but imagine if you had a fight with the people who talked behind you and they said ALL the stuffs that made YOU sound like a pathetic donkey. How would you feel ?
Sometimes, to understand people's problems, you just gotta ask yourself some questions, like, "How would I feel if I was in his/her position?" or, "Is it that bad?" and stuffs like that la. (Sorry, just realized this now) Maybe you'd say that it's just a little thing, let it go or so what if he/she did that to you? or it's not even important but try to put yourself EXACTLY in that person's position. If you can't, I guess, you just don't understand.
Message to my problems : PROBLEMS, GO AWAY ! LET ME LIVE IN PEACE ! AT LEAST FOR ONE DAY !
Sometimes, the starting of the day turns out good but at the end of it, it all turns bad for some reason ! Sometimes, it's the other way around. Still, there will be problems. I think that this all happens because of Facebook. I mean, after school, I'd be happy, then, when I see a certain somebody's status or face, I'd go mad and my mind starts to flashback everything she said to me. Sometimes, it's her friends. It's like, automatically effects my happiness.
Okay, I admit, that thing only happens for a sec and then, there would be this person who makes everything better. I don't know HOW he does it, but he does it. So, like, I kinda hate him for that and kinda not. BUT THE PROBLEM STILL HAPPENS !!!
There is, though, ONE problem that nobody can make me feel better about. Maybe some people can, but only for that moment, when I'm with those 'some people'. The other times when I'm not with those 'some people', I'd be not better again. I don't know why ! Stop asking me why ! It's automatically set in my mind ! And, to say that I don't care, it's hard 'cause it's about me ! If somebody were to talk about you, and you found out about it, won't you care? And okay, maybe you would, but only for a second and stuff but imagine if you had a fight with the people who talked behind you and they said ALL the stuffs that made YOU sound like a pathetic donkey. How would you feel ?
Sometimes, to understand people's problems, you just gotta ask yourself some questions, like, "How would I feel if I was in his/her position?" or, "Is it that bad?" and stuffs like that la. (Sorry, just realized this now) Maybe you'd say that it's just a little thing, let it go or so what if he/she did that to you? or it's not even important but try to put yourself EXACTLY in that person's position. If you can't, I guess, you just don't understand.
Message to my problems : PROBLEMS, GO AWAY ! LET ME LIVE IN PEACE ! AT LEAST FOR ONE DAY !
Friday, July 9, 2010
You know what?
I'm addicted to those words; "you know what?". LOL ! Weird, I know. It just seems , weird xD. Anyway, outta the topic.
You know what? I don't think I'm a good writer, since every blog post I wrote MUST have more than one grammar error. Should I stop writing? Well, maybe I should, for now. At least until I can get my grammar fixed. I'm confused !!
GOODBYE !!! WILL NOT WRITE A BLOG POST UNTIL I FIND SOMETHING AWESOME TO TALK ABOUT ! Sorry that the last wall posts are about me :| SOO SORRY !! Forgive me!!! Stop making me feel guilty !! Yes, I'm talking to you ! You, the one reading this !!!!!
Sincerely, Amil :(
You know what? I don't think I'm a good writer, since every blog post I wrote MUST have more than one grammar error. Should I stop writing? Well, maybe I should, for now. At least until I can get my grammar fixed. I'm confused !!
GOODBYE !!! WILL NOT WRITE A BLOG POST UNTIL I FIND SOMETHING AWESOME TO TALK ABOUT ! Sorry that the last wall posts are about me :| SOO SORRY !! Forgive me!!! Stop making me feel guilty !! Yes, I'm talking to you ! You, the one reading this !!!!!
Sincerely, Amil :(
My Birthday
My birthday fell on a Wednesday this year. I was kinda not happy because I hate Wednesdays. Every Wednesday, I have to go to a Girl Guide's meeting or whatever it is called. And I hate Girl Guide meetings. It means I had to be separated from Raihah. So, I planned not to go. But Raihah kept convincing me to. (Stopping. I suck at this)
The night before my birthday, Dina and Double and Raihah did a countdown. They were funny xD. Especially Dina. She seemed more excited than I was. She sent a wall post on my facebook wall every minute, counting down the minutes to midnight. I guess they were all competing for the first one to wish me a "Happy Birthday". Of course, Dina won. Then, Marissa, from my old school, then it was Double D, then Haziq. LOL ! Raihah sent me a message in the morning when I was about to go to school. She said she fell asleep riiiiiight before the clock strikes twelve.
My only wish for the day was so that it could be a great day that I can remember for the rest of my life. It wasn't -.-''. At first, it was nice. I mean, having the class singing me "Happy Birthday", people wishing me (SINCERELY) and giving me presents. Well, only Double D, Zafirah and Amirah gave me presents, but it's okay. Sonia and Eleesya gave me a card. They were very nice.
And then came recess (when it turned bad). I was being hyper as always. No, not extra hyper. Just hyper until Sabrina and Sarah Farhana and Annafiza, I think, wished me, which was odd. But I was okay. Happy even that they remembered, or cared to wish me. Then, Lisa came along. She 'wished' me a "Happy Birthday" VERY un-sincerely (I know, not a word ! Not caring. I can't seem to find the right word) which made my day bad ! What's her problem? She still hasn't got over the fight we had months ago?! Oh for God's sake, SHE WON ! What else does she want from me?! I mean, she got everything. The victory, the apology, the forgiveness. What else? She wants me to beg on my knees? Well, sorry. I won't do that. You're just not worth it. To me la. To your other friends, yeah, maybe they will do that. But I'm sorry, I just can't bear to see myself being so pathetic to apologize on my knees to somebody I don't even care about. If you don't want to wish me, fine, I don't care. It's better to NOT wish than wishing it un-sincerely! For months I thought you were the perfect one, the smart one, the pretty one but then, you did this, which made me think otherwise. I mean, if you're so smart, you should know that by now, the fight is over, you won, I lost, I apologized and wishing somebody a "Happy Birthday" with a fake-cute-perfect-I-am-so-the-queen voice just makes you a jerk. Seriously, I've never thought that you were one before this, but now, I am thinking that. Sorry la. It's just that, why? Does it make you happy to ruin my day? Does it make you happy to see me sad? Does it make you happy to see that you have the power and I'm just a loser? If that is true, what kind of person are you? Yeah , yeah, I know, now, you're gonna say that I do the same to you. Well, I don't. I know I talk about you sometimes, but I do not wish to see you sad or to ruin your day or to make you feel like a sore loser. Now you're thinking, yeah right. Like that's true. It is true. You just don't know it. That's another thing ! You said that it's a waste of your time to talk about me or so talk to me or to deal with me but you still do ! What is wrong with you? You're the one who said it's a waste of your time, but why do you still do it? Don't deny it la. I know you talk about me. And you made a freakin' song about me JUST to shoo me out of your class. You know, there's an easy way to do that. You could just GO to me and say that I should not be in your class. I'll leave. There's no need waste your time making a song just to shoo me. Yeah, I was so wrong to think that you are SO smart. Seriously, I just don't get you and your people. I get that you guys rule the school, but to show that you're the queens of the school to a loser like me just make you look bad. Or does it make you the hero or the queen to your people? Well then, fine. Do that. I'll just keep quiet of what I think. It doesn't matter anyway, right?
I skipped the Girl Guide's meeting. So did Eleesya, Lily, Amirah, Aina, Marina and Fitria. Razleena had nothing that evening, so we hung with her too. And Deanna was there. We watched the guys playing dodge ball. Or more like observing Aina's crushes. Man, that girl has so many crushes, I can't even count. They were really funny. Somehow, they made my day a little better. Well, at least until we got back to the canteen and I saw the person who ruined my day -.-''. So much for having a great day to remember for the rest of my life.
Come to think of it, it wasn't THAT much of a bad day. It was fun at times. Like, the time when it rained during History class. The storm was AWESOME ! I love rainy days. And then, the laughter I had with them was indescribably great. And the thought of them giving me presents and giving me cards is just great. :D The next day, Hidayah gave me a huge birthday card and I made a new wish. I wish that all these people will be my friends forever.
P/S: Nurin (or anybody else in your group), if you happen to read this blog post, sorry if I said something bad about you and your friends or something.
The night before my birthday, Dina and Double and Raihah did a countdown. They were funny xD. Especially Dina. She seemed more excited than I was. She sent a wall post on my facebook wall every minute, counting down the minutes to midnight. I guess they were all competing for the first one to wish me a "Happy Birthday". Of course, Dina won. Then, Marissa, from my old school, then it was Double D, then Haziq. LOL ! Raihah sent me a message in the morning when I was about to go to school. She said she fell asleep riiiiiight before the clock strikes twelve.
My only wish for the day was so that it could be a great day that I can remember for the rest of my life. It wasn't -.-''. At first, it was nice. I mean, having the class singing me "Happy Birthday", people wishing me (SINCERELY) and giving me presents. Well, only Double D, Zafirah and Amirah gave me presents, but it's okay. Sonia and Eleesya gave me a card. They were very nice.
And then came recess (when it turned bad). I was being hyper as always. No, not extra hyper. Just hyper until Sabrina and Sarah Farhana and Annafiza, I think, wished me, which was odd. But I was okay. Happy even that they remembered, or cared to wish me. Then, Lisa came along. She 'wished' me a "Happy Birthday" VERY un-sincerely (I know, not a word ! Not caring. I can't seem to find the right word) which made my day bad ! What's her problem? She still hasn't got over the fight we had months ago?! Oh for God's sake, SHE WON ! What else does she want from me?! I mean, she got everything. The victory, the apology, the forgiveness. What else? She wants me to beg on my knees? Well, sorry. I won't do that. You're just not worth it. To me la. To your other friends, yeah, maybe they will do that. But I'm sorry, I just can't bear to see myself being so pathetic to apologize on my knees to somebody I don't even care about. If you don't want to wish me, fine, I don't care. It's better to NOT wish than wishing it un-sincerely! For months I thought you were the perfect one, the smart one, the pretty one but then, you did this, which made me think otherwise. I mean, if you're so smart, you should know that by now, the fight is over, you won, I lost, I apologized and wishing somebody a "Happy Birthday" with a fake-cute-perfect-I-am-so-the-queen voice just makes you a jerk. Seriously, I've never thought that you were one before this, but now, I am thinking that. Sorry la. It's just that, why? Does it make you happy to ruin my day? Does it make you happy to see me sad? Does it make you happy to see that you have the power and I'm just a loser? If that is true, what kind of person are you? Yeah , yeah, I know, now, you're gonna say that I do the same to you. Well, I don't. I know I talk about you sometimes, but I do not wish to see you sad or to ruin your day or to make you feel like a sore loser. Now you're thinking, yeah right. Like that's true. It is true. You just don't know it. That's another thing ! You said that it's a waste of your time to talk about me or so talk to me or to deal with me but you still do ! What is wrong with you? You're the one who said it's a waste of your time, but why do you still do it? Don't deny it la. I know you talk about me. And you made a freakin' song about me JUST to shoo me out of your class. You know, there's an easy way to do that. You could just GO to me and say that I should not be in your class. I'll leave. There's no need waste your time making a song just to shoo me. Yeah, I was so wrong to think that you are SO smart. Seriously, I just don't get you and your people. I get that you guys rule the school, but to show that you're the queens of the school to a loser like me just make you look bad. Or does it make you the hero or the queen to your people? Well then, fine. Do that. I'll just keep quiet of what I think. It doesn't matter anyway, right?
I skipped the Girl Guide's meeting. So did Eleesya, Lily, Amirah, Aina, Marina and Fitria. Razleena had nothing that evening, so we hung with her too. And Deanna was there. We watched the guys playing dodge ball. Or more like observing Aina's crushes. Man, that girl has so many crushes, I can't even count. They were really funny. Somehow, they made my day a little better. Well, at least until we got back to the canteen and I saw the person who ruined my day -.-''. So much for having a great day to remember for the rest of my life.
Come to think of it, it wasn't THAT much of a bad day. It was fun at times. Like, the time when it rained during History class. The storm was AWESOME ! I love rainy days. And then, the laughter I had with them was indescribably great. And the thought of them giving me presents and giving me cards is just great. :D The next day, Hidayah gave me a huge birthday card and I made a new wish. I wish that all these people will be my friends forever.
P/S: Nurin (or anybody else in your group), if you happen to read this blog post, sorry if I said something bad about you and your friends or something.
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