2010

2010. What can you say about 2010? For me, I can say A LOT. But it's indescribable. Because, this year, it has been an interesting yet amazing journey. Of course, there had been rough times, but hey, is there any year that doesn't have any of those? But I could say that this year, it was extreme. The fun was extreme and the "rough times" were extreme. I guess, for me, it's an extreme year. I can't say extremely fun year, cause it wasn't all fun. Nor can I say it was an extremely miserable year, because it wasn't. There were just some parts that were .. well, not as I planned (duh! Who'd plan bad things in their lives?).

I started the year as a whole different person as I am now. When I think about it now, I kind of think, I was lifeless. And I was not very appreciative. Okay, okay, I was not appreciative at all. Happy? I didn't appreciate what class I was in. I didn't appreciate my 100 ringgit phone bill limit. I didn't appreciate what I had. And worst of all, I didn't appreciate my friends. I wanted more. I wanted popularity. I was ready to give up my real friends for someone that I can never be. I wanted to be those girls who seem so awesome. I didn't realize that my friends now were the awesome ones (Forgive me for saying this. We all have different points of view, right?). And I was so lifeless, that I was friends with this one girl who made me feel like I'm her sidekick. Okay, maybe that's not nice, but, yeah. On the phone, she was the one talking while I was just listening. And making one or two comments. (Just for the record, this is not counted as backstabbing. I'm just stating on how stupid and lifeless I was, okay? Don't get offended if you happen to be.) But, she was my best friend. I guess, I couldn't blame her, right? I was also a person in denial. I don't think I need to explain that, do I?

And then, the fight.

Between me and my used-to-be-best-friend. She told me the whole story about her boyfriend being a jerk to her. Not being loyal and telling her big news about their relationship on a piece of paper as if it was a joke. She was cursing him so badly at that time, and I couldn't just stand there, hearing her cursing him, because he was also my friend. So, I did something. Something bad. I told her that she can't control somebody's heart, telling him not to like somebody and all that. If you were me, or somehow in that position I was in, you'd do things differently, am I right? Because you should. No matter how wrong that person is, if she/he is your best friend, you have to be on her side. If he/she is wrong, tell her the right thing, but still be on her side, okay? I took a wrong step at that flight of stairs, and just like that, I fell to the bottom. (I know, I'm crapping, aren't I? It makes sense, somehow.)

I read the back blog posts my used-to-be-best-friend wrote, back when we were fighting. And reading them back, I feel really guilty. Seriously, I was a bad person. Try reading them at her blog site, http://cookie-97.blogspot.com/2010_05_01_archive.html. And there's another one on one of the April posts. Don't mind reading the comments. They're crap, kinda. I can't even bear to read the blog posts till the end anymore.

I don't even recognize that person who she wrote about. Was that really me? Was I that bad of a person? Was I hurting more than one person? Was I really that pathetic? Was I even conscious at that time? Did I really do all that? See? Even I myself wouldn't wanna be near to that person, let alone be friends with her.

But then, before the fight, there were times when we had fun. Like the marching practices. The last few days were amazing. I made new friends, and I got along with them. I do sometimes feel guilty that, I was being unfair to my old ones. But we did had fun. And I didn't really know if they'd wanna join or not. Oh well. Can't change the past.

And, the Sports Day. That was fun. Only, I was mad at Lily, and complaining about her to Zafirah for the whole of the event. Sorry, Lily! Our marching squad got second place, so, I guess you could say that we were so happy, it was almost as we'd achieved VICTORY!

Then came.. Teacher's Day. Since 16th May landed on a Sunday, the celebration was on the 17th, which was also Haziq's birthday. We had to be in the hall to listen to teachers' speeches. But me and my friends ended up taking weird pictures instead. I gave him a game or something for his birthday. LOL. I remember that I keep bribing him with it. I was chasing Lutfil, because he hacked into my account, and I asked Haziq to help me. If he didn't, I'd take back the game. Haha, yeah. That day was still one of the days that I haven't changed to the person I am now. Turned out to be one of the best days of my life.

For the next few months, I received frowns from people I'd hurt. Those frowns made the pretty people they are, ugly. And I got mad. I don't know why, I just did. I didn't really know at who. At myself, or at those people for not letting it go. Truth is, I myself didn't let it go just yet. But of course, all I did was criticize, saying that people were this and that.

With the help of some of my closest friends, I turned out to be a good person. Or at least I thought I was. Well, I thought I was because I let it go already, I didn't care of what they think. Because I stopped doing all those things I did, but not because I became a nicer person. Because I wasn't. I still talked about those people. And as you can guess, no, I did not talk "good" about them.

That time, I still didn't care of my grades. It was all, whatever to me. For me (that time), it was weird to see everyone stressing out about them. They were like, "Omigosh, I'm gonna fail!!" I'd be thinking, "Who cares?" But I acted like I cared. You know, by saying stuff like they do. I guess, at that time, all I could think was, "I failed once. No way am I gonna succeed anytime soon." LOL, immaturity.

On the Saturday of the mid-terms break, I went with Raihah and Lily to do some charity work at Denai Alam or something. Turns out, Irina was there too. We helped... at first. But when we got along later on, we started to just sit and eat. Raihah made me try out the lamb, because I said I hated lamb. Lamb, with gravy sauce, turned out pretty good. LOL. But I prefer chicken. Then, we just walked here and there, view the horses at their stables, took pictures and well... I guess you could say we stopped helping. Hehe. Ice-creams (popsicles) were free, so we took as many as we can take. Sugar rush! We fooled around in this one room, while blowing balloons. Lots of them popped xD. Found a trampoline and played there for the rest of the event. We got sweaty, really. But it was so much fun! I so wish I could relive that day.

After a while, I found out that I got a little crush on Haziq. I thought about it, and it's like he's been in my heart since the day I got close to him. Explained all the heart beats and all that. I didn't wanna admit it, because, that time, he was known as the "Big Headed Alien". And it would be all weird, 'cause we were best friends and like... you know, weird. Just too weird. And I couldn't possibly tell him, right?

Later on, Shania told him that I was madly in love with him -.-''. So much for keeping secrets. You know what happened then.
My birthday came. I was thirteen. You'd think I'd have let go of my immaturity, right? But no, I wasn't ready. Hey, you can only be a kid once. And as long as you can be one, enjoy it. I don't wanna be like some of those mature people. They're so boring. All they do is criticize on fun games and say that we, immature kids can't do anything right. Okay, maybe not. But sometimes they do. And yeah, yeah, they do more than just that. Haha, then, there was that moment when Lisa wished me a Happy Birthday in that so-very-fake tone and I thought it ruined my whole birthday, when it didn't, really. I was just thinking it that way. I don't know. Now, I think, that time, her opinion still matters. Well, it still does. Everybody's do, just not as important as some people.

After my sister came back from UK, my maid left for the holidays. Two weeks without a maid is kinda hard. (Well, if you're a spoiled brat like me, that is.) I had to iron my clothes by myself and wash the dishes and make up the bed and all that. I didn't even wash my shoes for that week. Thank God they weren't THAT dirty. My sister was a lot of help, though. The older one. The younger one, I wish! The cooking part, we just went out on most nights, I think.

Raya came. Me and my family were in the UK for our holidays. Well, that and my dad had a little work over there. We spent the whole Raya there. So, as you may guess, I didn't get as much money. But it was fun, so it didn't really matter. We had an awesome (and cheap) apartment in London, which had a view of Hyde Park AND about 100 satellite channels! On Raya night, we had an "open house" at this one service apartment. It was amazing! And it was also last minute, so thank God. It wasn't much as an open house, just a little gathering with a few of my sister's friends and juniors and cousin. And his friends. I think that's all. We visited Edinburgh castle when we went to Scotland. The journey up the castle was fun. The castle was like any other castle in England. Same old, same old. But it was nice to see the crowns and dungeons and ballrooms and other castle parts. Then (or maybe before Scotland), we went to Newcastle. Newcastle was BEAUTIFUL! Lights everywhere at night. Bridges, buildings. WOW! And the fact that we stayed in Hilton made it an even better stay. And the rooms were overlooking the beautiful city. When we got back to London, it was just shopping all the way! We even shopped till we dropped!

My mom threw an open house for her staffs on one Saturday, and she said I could invite my friends to come also. When they came, it was loud and crazy. We even sprayed whipped cream on each other. I got whipped cream on my outer lips (?), which made me look like I have a beard. LOL. I am NOT showing you that picture. Too funny. The party lasted at about 11.30 PM. It was a fun night. There was even a fight between me and my sister. Yes, in front of all my friends that were there.

Finals were near. Even I, the one who never cared about any exams, cared. I studied my butt off. Well, with an hour of Facebook or two a day. Hehe. But seriously, I studied. Not lying this time! Okay, maaaaaybe I didn't really get EVERYTHING in my head, but who does? Along the way, I found out that some subjects, such as History and Agama are kind of fun subjects. The teachers just didn't know how to make it fun. Geography, well, the syllabus is all wrong. They should make it a little bit more fun. Nobody can learn while sleeping, can they? No matter how "mature" they are. Try and prove me wrong. I'd like to see SOMEBODY studying those books without yawning every now and then.

The exam wasn't really that hard. I mean, others were easier. Maybe 'cause I studied?

I had SO much plans for my holidays. Writing on my blog, chatting with friends, hanging out, putting pictures in albums, and so on. But then, it looked like the time wasn't enough for me. With all the homework and holiday trips. I had a couple of days with my cousin at their house. It was awesome! We played this and that, swam in the pool, and took lots of pictures. We tried one with the background, but it failed, so, too bad for us. I was kinda sad when I had to leave, 'cause it was so much fun, I didn't wanna go home just yet.

The trip to China wasn't really fun, as expected. I didn't even wanna go, but I would never pass a chance to be in an airplane. We were lucky. We got upgraded to business class on the plane to China. But I slept all the way, while my family members (including uncle and aunt and cousin) had Haagen Dazs for dessert :(. There was this steward who complimented me 'cause I read a book while the plane was taking off and did my homework after I woke up. He even gave me some muffins, 'cause I didn't eat. I like him. The food in China was good. Only some were bad. The first lunch we had was a disaster. I had a couple of the best nights there. I shared a room with my mom's student (they had a conference), and one night, we talked until 4 in the morning. It was amazing how we connected. In the other city, we went to the zoo and saw the panda. But it was dirty, so... But we did see it drink, poop and pee and eat the bamboo shoots. LOL.

And since the China trip, I've changed. ALL because of a book called, Life is an Open Secret: Think About It, by Zabrina A. Bakar. It held the most amazing secrets in life anyone could ever think of. You should read it. It may bring something to you.

So, as I said. 2010 is indescribable. There were times where it's good, and times where it's bad. But it has really been an AMAZING year. All thanks to these people, Raihah, the two Dinas, Izyan, Lily, Malik, Zafirah, Sonia, Sarah Nur Izzati, Jin Zhe, Haziq, Lutfil, Lily, Lisa, Hidayah, Taqi and Imran. And my teachers, of course. I know that only SOME of you might see this, but thanks for making my year. You guys are the best.

Personally, I don't think 2011 is gonna be as awesome as 2010, but then again, how am I supposed to know? Life is full of surprises, right? Just have to wait and see.