Maybe :\

And every time I like someone, I always feel like there's someone better than me. One that he'll like more.

It's not like that. I'm not saying anything. I just feel like I'm not good enough. As if I'm boring. Is that normal?

But then again, I don't really feel much for him, so.. what? I remember last week, there were those couple of days where I felt so sure. I felt like I was the only one that mattered, but then, as time goes by, we start to grow apart. It's too early to say, I know. But I just think that way. Maybe it's because we haven't seen each other for a couple of days.

Before I confessed, I couldn't wait for night time to come, because that's when we normally chat, to tell him about my day. Now, a week later, it's like I have nothing to talk about with him. Not nothing, just that, when we chat, it's as if I'm boring him.

I know I can't accuse. I'm not. It's just how I feel. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe when I'm in the right mood, I won't feel this way.

Or maybe we're just moving too fast. Things that are supposed to be done in a few months was done in a few days. And the feelings go away as if it's been months that I liked him.

But it is possible to lose feeling for someone so great in less than a week? Will that make me a bad person? But then, what's the point of it anyway? If he says he doesn't fall in love, then what am I here for? Don't I want to fall in love and get in a relationship?

I know that I'm young. I haven't even set a goal for my life yet, but that's out of the question. But, am I smart enough? He's not a douche, he's not a jerk. In fact, he's the total opposite of those. I just don't know what I should do right now. Where I'm going.

I have two choices: To stay where I am, enjoy the moment; or Stop it, find someone better. But what about the what ifs? What if, if I stay, I still won't feel a thing and I'd just be playing him? No, we're not together, but it's wrong to make someone think you like him when you don't, right? And then, what if I stop and I regret it because he's a great guy? There aren't that many good guys out there in the world, let alone great guys.

Okay, done. Enough. No more. This might just be a phase. I will get over it. I will continue to like him and enjoy the moment. There. Done. I will zip my mouth and shut down my brain about this thing and convince myself that he's a great guy that I will wanna stick to.

Oh God, seeing his pictures is making me feel like I wanna cry. I don't know why, I don't want to. What the heck is this? HELP! - 11.18 P.M.