The New Boy I Like

For me to get a crush after loving someone for so long is kinda really weird xD. I mean, I don't LOVE this guy, I just like him. I can't say it feels better than love, but I kinda really like this feeling. Well, partly 'cause I don't feel anything for him. Much. I just smile whenever I talk about him, I grin widely whenever I see his pictures, and I stalk. A lot, even if I've seen his pictures millions of times already. I just can't get enough. I mean, I never get bored looking at this face. I chat with him more than 4 hours every night - okay well, not every night. On most nights (but that's gonna stop ): ) And sometimes more :P - and I don't get bored for some reason. There's always something to talk about.

And then I realized something. I've never really felt comfort when I was with my ex. There was always something that was wrong. Something I couldn't say. Something. And in real life, I felt as if I couldn't be beside him because I might get teased. I felt like I couldn't talk to him much, because maybe he'd think I want people to notice us or something. There's always that. ALWAYS. I didn't want him to see the bad side of me, and it's all he could see.

Anyway, with this guy I like, I don't feel like I need to be like this or like that. I'm comfortable with him. And he's actually interested in chatting with me. I can be who I really am. Or what I feel like. Honestly, I'm more comfortable with him than with my other friends. Okay, I dunno in real life, but on chat, yeah. I feel more comfortable with him. And he understands the -.-'' and =.='' smileys. LOL, maybe that's silly, but some people, they put it on every single sentence, and I can't help feeling guilty, like I made them annoyed or something. He's really something.

This might be too soon, but everyday, I look forward to chatting with him. Is that weird? I keep thinking that me liking him is weird, you know. Like I keep thinking people would say stuff if they found out. About the comfort? I still feel that, that's just when I'm chatting with him. I mean, it's like nothing could bother me. Yeah, maybe it is weird xD. Whatever, I'm happier now.

I spent most of my time chatting with him and thinking about him that I kinda forgot to miss my friends. I'm sorry, I know that's selfish or something, but it's just... I can't get him outta my head. Everything I do, I'd be thinking, "Oh man, time moves so slow! Grr, if only day was night .__." It always happens! When my friend tagged me in a status, saying that she misses me (and the others), I was like, "Oh crap! I totally forgot about her!" Seriously, he's gotten me crazy. Even though we chat that much... I kinda still miss him. And I dunno, I'm starting to feel something. Like, when i went to the movies yesterday, I had this weird feeling inside of me. I can't describe it. Something like shivering, but not really. I dunno. It was just weird.

GRRR WEIRDNESS >_<