Note: read this in a british accent.
"Dear diary,
I dont understand this at all. If i were to think any harder, id crack my head open. What are these feelings? What are these thoughts? Theyre spinning round my head like those little kids playing ring around a roses. Theyre giving me sleep deprivation as well as insomnia. Why do i care so much? Why do i want to rush to his aid when hes in need and why does it frustrates me that i know i cant? Why do i think so much of it? Why do i let myself fall even when ive fallen over and over again and never hitting the ground on the spot that i want to fall on? I know that in reality, that spot on the ground doesnt exist because its just too surreal.
I dont think the world is being fair because ive been through this. What ever happened to lightning never strikes twice at the same place? I have to refrain myself from thinking too far. Thinking leads to hoping leads to getting hurt. But why dont i learn from all those times of getting hurt?
I hate this."
You know, Amil, maybe its because you want to feel that way?
Showing posts with label Debate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Debate. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Where's the Chemistry?
Why would I be sad when I'm not? Why would I miss you when I don't? Why would I be guilty of texting and tweeting you when you actually reply? Why would I like you when I don't? Or at least I don't think so.
But then why would I spend like an hour of my facial, in a cold, quiet room just thinking about you and not realising it (until this thought comes) if I don't have feelings for you?
But thing is, I don't.
Feel anything, that is.
It's hard to explain.
I feel like we're really fading away since we're not talking IRL anymore. And it's like, our texts are so.... Chemistry-less. We suck at texting. Like I said, I like talking IRL more.
But whatever happened to things in school stays in school?
Cause reality is, you have a girlfriend and I'm always second best, aren't I? I was there for you enjoyment (in the most innocent way possible) but now that I'm 500 miles away, it makes me no different than your long distance girlfriend.
Ugh okay I'm messing up my head.
But talking to you on the phone makes me think otherwise. I mean, I didn't even realise it was 40 minutes. And we both know that it would have been longer if you weren't busy looking for whatever you were looking for. So what is this?
Would it make me a bad person if I just continue talking to you and well, I can't help myself from flirting - it's like I do it unconsciously - even when I know you have a girlfriend who was actually my senior in SAB?
Yes, it kinda would.
But then why would I spend like an hour of my facial, in a cold, quiet room just thinking about you and not realising it (until this thought comes) if I don't have feelings for you?
But thing is, I don't.
Feel anything, that is.
It's hard to explain.
I feel like we're really fading away since we're not talking IRL anymore. And it's like, our texts are so.... Chemistry-less. We suck at texting. Like I said, I like talking IRL more.
But whatever happened to things in school stays in school?
Cause reality is, you have a girlfriend and I'm always second best, aren't I? I was there for you enjoyment (in the most innocent way possible) but now that I'm 500 miles away, it makes me no different than your long distance girlfriend.
Ugh okay I'm messing up my head.
Monday - 3:49 p.m.
But talking to you on the phone makes me think otherwise. I mean, I didn't even realise it was 40 minutes. And we both know that it would have been longer if you weren't busy looking for whatever you were looking for. So what is this?
Would it make me a bad person if I just continue talking to you and well, I can't help myself from flirting - it's like I do it unconsciously - even when I know you have a girlfriend who was actually my senior in SAB?
Yes, it kinda would.
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