And It All Turns Green

Jealousy is a curse. One day you’re fine, and the next, without any warning, you get bitten by the oh-so-famous green-eyed monster and so the poison will flow through your veins, taking out all the bliss thus leaving sorrow behind. It’s like being kissed by the dementor, it sucks all the life out of you leaving the worst experiences behind.

What is it with people and getting jealous? I bet, no matter how nice you try to be, the feeling of envy would still come to you at some point. Be it at your siblings or him or her, it comes. Maybe one with a kind heart would try his best not to convey others of the jealousy he’s feeling. But I guess I’m not one of them..

Sometimes when all things aren’t right, the stress just gets to you. Or it just gets to me? When one goes bad, all goes bad. People say, “don’t be sad, think happy thoughts.” Hah, as if it were that easy. (Sorry Kamal, if you’re reading this. I guess that person’s always been me hahah. Not good at cheering people up.) I mean yeah, it’s good advice; he who’s in misery should at least try. But it just isn’t easy, especially when that person you’re jealous of is close to you. Like, really close.

People are always better. I guess that’s reality? Whatever you think you’re good at, there’s always someone better at it. When you think a person likes you, there’s always one he/she likes more. Maybe even one said person met way later than they’ve met you. It’s like knowledge; you can never get all of it. There’s always more. Is it really wrong of me to get jealous? I suppose it just frustrates me because for once, I’d want to think I’m ‘the one and only’, or ‘the Jack of all trades (and a good one at it)’ or ‘the best of the best’ or even ‘the favor of all teachers’.

But the spotlight won’t shine on me. Out of all the things I’ve done, I can’t think of anything that I do that beats my friends. Or my siblings. Yeah, I travel a lot (or used to), I ought to know why the Tower of Pisa leans on one side; why Venice is a city on water; why the whirlpools in Naruto only comes during a specific time. But I don’t. When I go travel, I don’t bother. Even if I do, there’s never enough time and god, how I hate reading from Wikipedia. And sure, I like writing, but have you seen Aleesya when she puts pen to paper? Or DD or Abdan? I’m not saying I resent them or anything; it’s just that, every so often when you think about it, it just sucks to be you and not them.

What world would it be without people competing to be the best? All you gotta do is suck it up and move on with your life. Adapt to the situation, surely one day you’ll get what you want, the way you want it to be. Some friends and lovers only come a short while and then they’ll go, like the leaves of autumn. Know in your heart it’s a new day. And it’s time to avoid the green-eyed monster.

 Hahah, and that, ladies and gentlemen was my attempt to make myself feel better.