Mirror, Got Anything to Say?

Oooohh oh my God, this is new!! The drafts I mean. Oooh, prettyyy. But I srota still like the old one. But coooooool, it's new! Hahahah, okay nampak sangat dah lama tak bukak blog xD Enough about that. I shall start on my post, which is just about me actually, feel free to click 'X' on your tab :P.

In case you don't know, I'm this kind of person who is not, really, is not good in any kind of relationship. Or well, at least I think not. WAIT DON'T GET TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I'M WITH SOMEONE, I'M JUST WRITING THIS LALALA. Anyway, I'm this person who gets jealous, like when my friend is talking to someone who I don't know or something, I'd be like, "kay, I'm alone, I shall forever be alone >.>" hahah, fine, maybe the last part was a bit of an exaggeration. But I do, like most girls. I guess I've learned from past relationships that I shouldn't really get jealous, but hey, it the feeling comes, what to do, what to do?

Hmm, what other bad thing about me is there? Oh, I get insecure. A lot. I'd always be asking myself if I'm worth it or pretty enough or like interesting. I am so not good with starting topics. Or replying. Unless I talk about myself. Is that bad? :\ 'Cause whenever I do, people would just be like, "Oh." But sometimes I just, I mean, I don't know what to reply, if I say something like, "that's not good," then they'll probably get mad at me. Or maybe it's just in my head. Hahhahahahahha, dudes, I'm not pointing to anyone here, I just didn't get enough sleep and I'm hyper at 8:39 a.m. in the morning, so faham faham je laa.

I might get too close. Um, like I'd be there, but I expect you to start the conversation, cause I have nothing to say. It's like, I'm a creep or something. Okay you know what, this post is a failure. I do not know how to judge myself. I'm too hyper right now hahaha. I'm gonna go study Sejarah la, but if there's one last thing I could tell is that, you will at one point get annoyed or irritated by me. Seriously, no matter how nice you are, you will. 'Cause honestly, if I look at myself, I'm this really gedik girl who likes praising herself. I know I say those upstairs people (NO OFFENSE) are gedik, but dude, look at how many times I used the word, "like", look at how loud I get, shouting from one block to another, and how vain I am, taking pictures of myself every time there's a camera. As if I'm so pretty xD.

My point is, I'm not really easy to handle. I'm weak, I fall into stuff a lot. It's easy to lead me on, to make me fall in love, but once you do that, I just keep falling, and I need someone to catch me, be there for me. I don't know, I'll try to keep my expectations low, or have no expectations at all, but don't everyone get expectations? So I can't really avoid it. Good luck being someone to meeee, you'll need it !

OKAY BYEE ! I SHALL GO STUDY SEJARAH NOW, Because ada orang tu suruh Amilah dapat A ._. macam mana laaaaah D:

A Walk To Remember (Icanfinallyusethat)

Last Sunday, 1st of April. Honestly, nothing much happened. Story of my life, haha, it's always like that, nothing much happened or it's just a 'meh' thing, but hey, there's nothing wrong with getting excited about it, is there? And maybe it's just me that's excited about it; that's making a big deal out of it, sometimes I feel bad for myself, but I don't wanna think about that now. It's enough that I freaked out the other day, I should at least be happy over this. OKAY, enough, I shall go with the story now.

So last Sunday was the day I went to Japan. I had worked on my Permata Pintar thing which was needed for ICT, and I did my History project, which is actually insignificant but it has something to do with the story. Anyway, I printed the Permata Pintar thingy for DD as well, and her History porject, and by six-thirty, I was getting ready to send the papers I printed to Raihah's house for her to give the teacher. I feel like I'm not going anywhere with this story, man. I was chatting with this guy (I know I gave out his identity in the two last posts, but I is no like writing his name, it makes me smile like an idiot) about stuff that are kind of meaningful to me. TO ME, get that, and I am nobody okay, so like, it's actually just meh. Blah, okay, and then I when I was finished printing and all, I was going to walk to Raihah's house which is like 2km from my house and since his house was on the way and I was chatting with him, I asked if he wanted to join me. And he said yes.

So I met him halfway. Well, not really halfway, more like 3 quarts of the way, seeing as I had to climb up Mount Everest in order to reach his place, of which he still said I walked so slow as if I was a snail. Men. Like he walks so fast >.> I tried not to smile, seeing him there, standing 5 feet away from me. But I couldn't, he was there, wearing what I think was SAB shorts with a black Beatles t-shirt, which kinda looked a bit tight on him, but whatever, he still looked good haha. If I remember correctly, he smiled back-but just a smile, not a goofy grin like how I smiled-that seriously made my heart beat faster. When i reached him, heart still beating uncontrollably (which explains the goofy smile), he complained about how slow I walked. I argued, but as I did so, I half-laughed. Having crushes on people makes you do weird stuff.

We walked, went downhill to Raihah's place and everything, talked about this and that. I forgot actually, though I do remember us talking about phone numbers. I left my file in Raihah's mailbox, since it was nearly 7 p.m. and she was just praying Asar. I asked him to walk me back home, cause I mean, dude, it was dusk and I was scared to walk alone. I asked earlier though. Not really asked, I just told him he needed to send me back home, which he replied with an odd look. But I guess he was okay with it cause he did send me home. Oh God I hope you guys are not bored with this, cause if you are, I get it. I'm not adding awesomeness into the story, I'm like repeating everything. Amilah is bad at writing, Amilah shall never make writing as a career.

We took the shortcut near Raihah's place to get to the main road. I let him go first, cause I was scared to go. Man, I'm such a scaredy-cat. In my head, I'd have a hard time climbing up (there weren't exactly stairs, just the ground. It was shaped like stairs from having so many people climb up from it I guess), and I'd ask him to lend me a hand and it'll be all like romantic you know. But that didn't happen. I'm sort of disappointed but hey, at least it was a sin that I didn't commit, so Alhamdulillah. We walked and we talked about airplanes and swine flu, how the pigs got it from the birds because the birds poop into the pigs' food hahah. When he walks, his cheeks bounces up and down and oh man, it's so cute! He was like a chubby little kid, who is so fair with a round head and he wears glasses. I do not know why but I am attracted to guys who wear glasses.

There was this one moment where he actually laughed out loud like for real, and for me to hear that, I dunno, I guess it made me go all excited inside. I found his laugh funnier than the funny thing. He was still recovering from his sore throat which made his voice a bit lower. AND OKAY DON'T JUDGE ME BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS HOT HAHAH. Back to the story. When we got near my house, there's this um "alley" where you need to walk through and in that "alley" there's a drain. He was showing me his 50 bucks, saying he was gonna go to Tutti Frutti and I dunno, I guess I got jealous or something, I pushed him closer to the drain. I didn't realize it though, honest! I realized it when he told me to go farther away from him hahaha.

And this one really sweet thing he did was, he waited for me to go inside my house instead of just leaving me there. Things I shall never forget. I guess it was something special to me because he was the last friend I met with before going to Japan. And we were like, sending texts to each other until I was in line to enter the plane. It was kinda like a boyfriend-ish kinda thing if you ask me. BUT NO. HE DOES NOT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME I'M JUST MAKING THIS WHOLE THING SOUND SO. I'm not gonna listen to anything any of you say unless it's, "He doesn't like you, he likes this other girl...."

I am done with my story, it is not interesting in any way, I know. But I is just have to write it before I go crazier. Stupid smile ugh. I shall go do something other than writing now lalala. JAPAN WAS AWESOME BTW. THE TRAINS ARE LIKE OMG. AND THE SAKURA ! SubhanAllah cantik sungguh, you could forget about the world seeing the flowers!