Maybe Dreams Are Another World We Live In

Does the "crush effect" really exist? Like, when you like them, they suddenly look attractive to you or or that seeing them or making eye contact with them or when they speak to you, your whole day gets better? I think I just answered my own question, yes the "crush effect" really does exist.

Okay, so, I got up this morning for sahur (since we're in fasting month) at 5 AM, and I was totally awake. I mean, usually, I'd be saying, "ughh, 5 more minutes, pleaaaasee," and then I go back to sleep, till my sister or mother wakes me up again. But not today. It seemed like I was never asleep at all. Well, I was, just not on full sleep mode. Yes, there is such a thing. I hope.

Anyway, i did get to sleep, for the first 3 hours or so. It's 7.12 am, I should still be really sleepy, having to walk around for hours holding heavy bags yesterday evening, but no, I'm not.

So I dreamt. I dreamt about my crush-probably because of the card my friend, Raihah gave me, which had his name in it, a lot-being in my house, at night, with my other two friends. We, my two friends and I, were sitting at the dining table, while he was crouching down on the floor, beside the sofa, in the dark, behind the dining table we were sitting on. It was a weird dream, but aren't all? So we were doing our piano homework, for some reason, we had piano classes together, while he was just sitting down there, looking at me. Or somebody else, I dunno, couldn't be me, I mean, he liked someone else, duh.

Okay okay, back to the story. Some time later, Raihah's piano teacher came, and the piano teachers - mine and hers - had a fight on who they get, blah, not important. I don't even know why they were in my dream. Weirdness. I got up, I stood beside him, and said something to him. He smiled. He went over to the sofa and took a blanket, and covered me in it, and he hugged me tightly, as if scared to let me. He laughed, the cute funny laugh, not the "I'm-gonna-rape-you" laugh. I joined him, I wasn't scared, I guess I trusted him or something. So, he carried me, or pushed me, I don't quite remember, onto the sofa and I opened the blanket that was covering me, seeing him standing in front of me, still smiling, while I was on the couch, lying down. I laughed, and for some reason, I did the same to him, i covered him in the blanket and hugged him tightly, and my attempt to make him fall on the couch with me failed. Instead, we, still hugging each other, rolled down the couch and onto the floor, with a loud thump. I was on top of him - please do not think anything. It was totally innocent - ready to apologize, when I saw that his eyes were glittering, and his lips were still curled in a smile. I just stared at him, confused. It was as if like we were kids, playing around.

And then I woke up. I didn't get much sleep after that, I was too confused. I kept thinking about it. The dream, I mean. It's just that, I felt it. The hug, the ever so tight hug. I felt my body being squeezed, not from the side, from the front, because if it were from the side, there was a possible explanation that my sister would have hugged me. Not that it's abnormal that I felt it, because I've felt kisses on my lips in my dreams before. Still, I think this was the first time I couldn't get back to a deep sleep after a dream. it's not like it's the first time I ever had a dream about him. I dunno, I'm confused. Why am I so anxious to know what that dream meant? Why is it that I thought about it when I woke up in the middle of the night? Why can't I stop thinking about it now? It's just so weird.

I don't even like him that much. I'm serious. If I did like him so much, I'd be feeling butterflies when I'm around him, I'd feel my heart beat getting fast when thinking about him, I'd be blowing my head off, knowing that he likes another girl. But no. I don't feel that way. Sure I feel the sudden skip of a beat in my heart, but who doesn't when it's about their crush? I need answers.

I have no point of telling you this actually. I just wrote it to keep it in mind, because well, as confusing as it is, I do not wanna forget it. Might be useful someday.

Days Like This.

You know one of those days, where when you wake up, you don't feel like doing anything at all? It's like, you wake up, feeling all groggy and sleepy, you brush your teeth; you think about if what happened last night was real or a dream, and what your dream was about, if it really happened. And then you find something to do, but you don't feel like doing anything at all, not even going back to sleep.

Why do those days happen? What annoys me is that it keeps happening to me lately. It's like a disease. You don't feel like talking to anyone, you don't wanna hear them talking about what happened last night or whenever, nor do you wanna share what you've done.But you just can't help going on the computer, to see if anyone would wanna talk to you.

And then your mom asks you to do some chores, you get up lazily, and do everything she asks you to do very slowly, like you're a sloth. You take 5 every 2 seconds. You wish that the day would just end faster, because there's nothing to look forward to. You've got no mood to do anything. As if everything you have in your life is gone.

And you go to bed, hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.

A Story Of A Girl

Her sad face reminds me,
Of a story of a girl,
Who once had eyes that shine,
And a smile that was genuine.

It began in March,
On a fateful Friday evening,
A guy suddenly spoke to her,
Telling her to win a race,
His "good luck" to her was her lucky charm.

Weeks went by,
They became closer to each other,
From acquaintances to friends,
To late night chat buddies.

The holidays came,
Their chats extended till 4 a.m.;
Talking about unimportant things,
Her favorite subject.

She started to develop feelings for him,
Hinting him in some ways;
She noticed that,
He left her some hints too.

She thought he'd known,
So on a Saturday night,
Right after their goodbye,
She said to him that she liked him.

His words made her explode,
"Itsokay, I kinda like you too xD"
It felt like a dream,
Even though she expected it already.

Monday night,
He came to her house,
Gave her a present,
Under the dark night sky.

He looked handsome,
In his t-shirt and jeans,
She was comfortable,
In her sleepwear.

They sat outside her house,
Talked for a while,
The time stopped,
Nothing else in the world mattered.

Friday,
They walked to a fast food restaurant,
He bought her an ice cream,
And himself a coke.

How she wished he'd held her hand,
When crossing the road;
He stopped by her house,
To hang for a while.

When it was time for goodbye,
She walked him out,
But they just couldn't separate,
The goodbye lasted for about 15 minutes.

Though it should have lasted longer,
Because she hadn't known that,
That was the last time,
He'd be hers.

In the next week,
He told her that he was not over this girl,
With the name of a flower,
But she didn't mind,
Because she too,
Had lost feelings for him.

Days passed,
She found out that the girl with the flower name,
Likes the guy too,
So she match made them,
On a Friday in July.

She was just a best friend,
She hears him talking about his crush,
Every single day,
Since that day he told her about his crush.

He kept reminding her,
Of the night he came to her house,
While she was trying to forget,
Since it was the most romantic thing
he's ever done.

She realized soon,
That she wasn't over him;
It was just a short break,
He was still in her heart.

She can't do anything though,
Since she was the one,
Who brought them together,
Besides, they were her best friends,
She just couldn't step in.

She said,

"I don't have big brown eyes,

Nor am I sassy like her,

I don't get much time with you in person,

But I do know you."

"I'm not the one to judge who you're to be with,

And I'll not say what's on my mind;

I just want one day with you,

That'll last a lifetime."

The questions,
"What if I'd told him later?
Would he still like me then?"
Still haunts her mind,
But she usually shakes it off,
Before getting the answer,
Time and tide waits for no men.

All that's left,
Is her memory,
And that present he gave her,
The night she will never,
In a million years forget.

She was in denial,
She didn't admit that,
She still had feelings for him
To her friends,
Hoping that it would become true,
If she says it.

But her friends knew,

They knew she wasn't over him,

And they tease her,

Saying that one day,

They'll be together.

Though it seems to her that,

It was never going to happen,

Because he and the flower girl,

Seems to be perfectly happy together,

She couldn't help but to laugh,

At the silly teases her friends make.

"So don't fall in love,

There's just too much to lose."